


Believe in Free (not on Hiatus but slow updates)

by TripleTea



Series: Believe in Free [1]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Awesome, Crew Feels, Cruel as Shit, Freewood - Freeform, M/M, Mavin, Mavin feels inspired, Missing Persons, Swearing, Violence, apparently a bit of a slow burner, bad language, bromance..???, dude tons of swearing, maybe romance..? i dont know anymore, they all love gavin okay, your heart may not survive apparently..?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 07:46:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 31,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5619151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TripleTea/pseuds/TripleTea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Previously called "Can You Hear The Night?")</p><p>Gavin walked out of the office one day and that was the last anyone saw of him.</p><p>--<br/>(Inspired by Michael's "Gavin, please come home" in that one AHWU video.)<br/>(Unsure if there will be actual Freewood or Mavin...)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 330 Days Later

**Author's Note:**

> Only one or two chapters for this because as much as I love this idea I will quickly run out of steam.  
> (trying out a new way of writing; namely the use of '___' rather than "___" to try and get myself into the habit.  
> Okay... yup. I hate myself for wanting this fic to be a thing.  
> EDIT from future me upon posting chapter 19; I have made myself a liar....

Honestly, he was surprised that they'd lasted as long as they had. It was late April, and May was just over the next hill, waiting for them as they all tried to back-peddle, wishing to avoid it for as long a possible. When May came, and then went, it would be a year since any of them had seen _him_. For a few months, maybe five or six, he wasn't certain, they'd put up content for the fans, old videos that had yet to be put out for the community.

X-Ray and Vav was on hiatus (not cancelled) for the foreseeable future, RWBY had been re-written, and Dan had been forced to call a halt on anything _Slow Mo Guys_ related; he could hardly create content without the engine driver. It was sad that so many things had come to a grinding halt. New Let's Plays were rarer than Geoff's sober days, and around late November last year, things fell apart, and the Achievement Hunter sites went quiet. No content, new or recycled.

The story had fallen from the news around mid October, and while the media and the law had seemingly given up, the fans had still been there. Then came the New Year, when on the 6th of January, the police announced that they were ceasing their investigation, with no evidence and no leads to turn to. Uproar followed, all over social media sites, Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, Tumblr. Fans all over the world, outraged at the short timeframe in which they'd been “on the case”.

It was in the papers again then. Only one day, and not on the front pages, but there it was in black and white, _his_ face, _his_ name, the mystery that surrounded May last year. The stories were short, a paragraph, two if they were lucky, stating all the things they already knew.

Michael put his phone down, pushing it away from him. The office was quiet, a sound that they'd all become accustomed to. This past week though, had been different, a new game had come out and they'd been under orders to do a “Let's Watch”. Ryan had taken the lead, actually playing the game, while the others offered their commentary. It was difficult, to perform as though nothing had happened. Lot's of things had happened.

Last August Geoff told them not to expect him the next day. They did of course, but he never turned up. Michael rang him on occasion, but the man tended to be “busy” or “out” or any number of things that meant he couldn't talk. Michael hated him for it. Nobody had really replaced Geoff, just like nobody had replaced _him_.

'Michael?' With a start, Michael turned his head. Ryan was standing by the door, 'Do you want anything?' Michael shook his head, no. Ryan turned away and left the room. That left him alone. Ray had been the next to go, claiming that though he still loved gaming, he couldn't bare to do it with Achievement Hunter any longer. Michael couldn't blame him. Sometimes he thought about leaving too, but knew he never would; being here kept him close to _him_. He couldn't leave that, no matter how much it hurt to stay. Jack wasn't in today and Michael doubted he'd not be in now until next week.

Achievement Hunter was over, he knew that. They all just had their fingers up their asses, trying to pretend like it wasn't. Truth be told, it was no longer an asset, no new content, no new fans. Michael, while he knew that it wasn't a good business idea to keep it going, was disgusted that that seemed to be the only thing that mattered now. A major part of the team fizzled out of their lives and then two more departed and the thread that they were hanging on by was smaller than the amount of shit that the police seemed to care about _him._

Michael ached, and he rubbed his chest, on autopilot. He was constantly tired. Every other emotion had left him a while ago, he wasn't angry, or... perhaps it was that he didn't have the energy to be angry. He didn't know why, he slept most nights, much to his chagrin. How dare he sleep like everything was alright. He dreamt sometimes, mostly of _him_. His face, lit up with a large smile. His laugh, loud in his ears. His eyes, wide open, dull and white and lifeless.

He shook his head and the images faded like mist. His phone shuddered on his desk and he glared down at it. His stomach dropped and a sudden wave of nausea swept up from his stomach and threatened to rise up into his throat. His hand reached out to pick it up and he brought the phone closer to eye the text on the lock screen, sure he was imagining things.

 


	2. Voicemail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote more than I expected and though I quite like how it turned out, I do offer condolences if you hate it or if it makes little sense (as I ended up re-writing it more than once).
> 
> Don't worry, I am confused too and have no idea where this is going. We are in the same boat. (;

Ryan found his short trip to the kitchen about as boring as always; but the drink was much needed, his throat dry from the hours spent inside. He sipped from the glass as he walked the well trodden route back to the office. The door was open, as he'd left it earlier in the day. With the glass against his lips, Ryan noted Michael, still sitting at his desk. His hand was clutching his phone tightly. From where Ryan was standing in the doorway and what he could see of Michaels face, his expression was, surprisingly blank. No frown, no smile, nothing. Ryan hummed softly as he pulled the glass away from his mouth, 'Michael?'

If he'd heard him, he didn't acknowledge the fact, only continuing to hold the phone in such a way that Ryan feared he might break it if his grip became any tighter. Ryan called out to him again and this time Michael did react, his head turning around to allow the redhead to look up at him.

'You okay?' he wasn't sure what he had been expecting, but Michaels face unnerved him, and a cool feeling of dread crept it's way upwards from the base of his spine and the glass slipped from his hand. Michael didn't flinch as the glass spilled it's contents over the carpeted floor. It took him a surprisingly long while to vocalise anything after that, and when he did it was only to repeat Michaels name. He wondered what had his friend stricken into an almost fearful silence. The redhead held out the phone in Ryan’s direction, waiting for him to take it. Ryan, with some trepidation, took it and brought it into an angle suitable for viewing. The was a text on the left hand side of the screen and he read it quickly before looking back up at Michael with a perplexed expression.

Michael seemed to be struggling, swallow down a lump in his throat before getting out the words that he knew would stun Ryan, 'It's...' he paused, gesturing vaguely to Ryan, or perhaps the phone, '… it's from Gavin... from his number.'

Shocked didn't even come close to covering how Ryan felt in the moment immediately after those words. His eyes flickered down to the phone again, and he realised that Michael was correct. The contact at the top clearly said “ **My Boi** ”. Ryan's eyes drifted and he glanced at the texts on the right hand side, ones that Michael had sent.

 _“...come home...”_ , _“...I miss you...”_ and other things that Ryan came to realise he shouldn't be reading and so he turned his gaze upwards to the the ceiling for a moment, then back down to rest on Michael as he offered the phone back. Michael took it, re-reading the newest words on the small screen. Michael took a breath, 'They said they couldn't trace it or... or track..?' he sounded as confused as Ryan felt, understandably so.

Though Michael wasn't looking at him, Ryan nodded, 'Because the battery was removed, or the phone was... destroyed.' he bent down, picking up the glass. He should probably get a towel or something.

'...the police.' Michael was talking again, suddenly he was on his feet, eyes wide and filled with hope. _How cliché..._ Ryan thought, though he supposed Michael had never really lost it. Geoff and Ray had, Jack too was well on the way, and though Ryan would say (if anyone asked him) that he was as hopeful as he was a month after it had happened, there was a feeling, deep in the very lowest point of his gut that told him that there wasn't really a need for hope anymore.

Nearly a year had passed by now, and the search had been stopped seven months and thirteen weeks previously, but who was even counting anymore? The police weren't, nor the press. Michael was, Ryan knew without even asking him. The fans too, swarming on social media, day after day, long after the content stopped coming. And even though that feeling sat neatly in the very bottom of his stomach, Ryan was too, of course he was. He counted each day. Today was the three hundredth and thirtieth.

Ryan stood up slowly, glass in hand, 'What?' he hadn't been listening.

Michael stepped closer to him now, feet pressing the spilt drink into the carpet, 'I said we have to call the police.'

'The police?' Ryan repeated.

Michael shook the phone at him, 'This is a lead!' There was an odd sort of excitement about the younger man as he spoke and gestured wildly with both arms. Ryan couldn't deny that it was an unexpected twist in the _“Gavin Free Mystery”_ , but he found it peculiar too.

'I doesn't quite sit right with me,' Ryan began, watching Michael closely, 'where's it been this whole time? Why wasn't the battery inside? If it's just the SIM card they've got, what happened to the--,' Ryan stumbled to a halt and eyed Michael who was giving him a look, 'what?'

Michael almost looked smug, 'They've got the phone.'

'You can't possibly know that.' Ryan argued, frowning deeply.

'Who would use the SIM card but not the phone?' Michael asked him.

Ryan shook his head, 'The phone could have been broken.'

'Would you fix a broken phone or buy a new one?'

'Depends on the extent of the-,' Ryan was cut off by a glare from Michael and for a time they stood in silence. Ryan didn't dare allow himself to be _too_ hopeful over one text message, though Michael was apparently having no issues with getting his own expectations up, 'what are you doing?'

Michael was tapping away on his phone, 'I've been texting Gavin...' he paused, almost as though he wasn't keen on revealing the information, like it was some kind of embarrassing secret. In a way it was. He took a breath and then continued, 'I've been sending texts for months, and now I've got this response. One year goes by without anything but then the phone's on and some bastard is using it and telling me to fuck off! Don't you think that this is important?!' He was angry now and Ryan held up his empty hand.

In truth he thought it was a sign that the phone had simply been lost (whether dropped or stolen, it didn't matter), and then had been found again... So why keep it for so long without using it? Surely they hadn't only recently stumbled upon it? The battery was removed or the phone broken... but a broken phone could indeed be fixed and a battery replaced. Had Gavin removed the battery himself? Why would he do that? To disappear... but he wouldn't do that. Not to them, not to anybody... would he? _No_. Ryan realised far too later that he'd spoke aloud, and he was caught in the face by Michael's overly keen fist, 'Fuck-!' Ryan's free hand came up to rub gently at his jaw.

'How can you care to little about this?!' Michael snapped, 'Care so little about _him_?'

Ryan set the glass upon the desk, and his eyes darkened as he stared Michael down, 'You misunderstand me,' he watched as Michael relented and slunk back into his chair, arms resting on the arms awkwardly, 'I was thinking.'

'Oh I fucking heard.' Michael ground out.

Ryan's eyes narrowed and Michael lifted his hands off the arms of the chair, showing his palms to older man in a defensive gesture. Ryan waited for a beat and then spoke again, 'Why would Gavin remove the battery?'

'I dunno,' Michael shrugged, 'why would he leave?'

The dark expression on Ryan's face softened a little, 'I don't know,' a pause, 'but I think you're right. We have to go back to the police.' Ryan had assumed that Michael would be concerned about Gavin, but in that moment he sounded as though he was angry rather than upset. Ryan was good friends with Gavin, and he guessed that it was a little normal to feel angry too, though he himself was more irked by the whole thing. It wasn't like Gavin. He wasn't the type to just up and leave without a word to anyone. They'd told the police that, over and over. Gavin would have told them, he would have kept them in the loop.

The day they'd last seem him had been good, they'd gotten a lot of work done and the atmosphere had been light and carefree. They'd enjoyed sweet treats, including cake, to celebrate. It was a bittersweet recollection for them all. Gavin had wished them a good afternoon on his way out. Dan had been visiting from England to record content for _The Slow Mo Guys_ , it just so happened that the week he was visiting was around Gavin's birthday, and so birthday beverages had been suggested. The rest of the guys had been invited to join them later in the afternoon...

Only Geoff had received a call an hour later from Dan, accusing them of hogging the birthday boy. Geoff had assured him that Gavin had left the office, and Dan assured him that Gavin had not arrived at their meeting place. Ryan could recall the confused faces of his colleagues as they pondered the situation.

 _'I've tried calling him already,'_ Dan had said, _'it went to voicemail.'_


	3. Geoff [part 1]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Geoff" is over 2000 words long, which isn't that bad, but I wanted to split it into two chapters.

He supposed that he probably should have come around just a little bit earlier, but in his defence, Geoff had been pretty insistent that nobody was welcome. Ryan had deemed this visit most important, and so there he was, standing at Geoff's front door, gathering himself before he rapped his knuckles against the hard surface. Michael had, on Ryan's rather forcefully suggested proposition, remained at the office. Mostly to keep him out of the way of their ex-boss. Ryan found that he needn't have been so keen, as Michael had been completely fine with that. Ryan shook his head, the redhead talked big, just never against Mister Ramsey.

Deeming himself ready to face him, Ryan knocked smartly three times on the door. He did not expect to get a quick answer and he'd wait all afternoon if he had to but he hoped he would not have to. Michael had proposed he call first, but Ryan had shot him down. Geoff wasn't in the habit of answering **any** calls from **anyone** at the office anymore, Michael knew that. He was pulled from his thoughts as he heard the faint tell-tale signs of movement. It was not hurried; more lazy, feet likely being dragged across the floorboards with only one or two steps here and there. Ryan took a slow, deep breath. He was poised, ready to dodge out of the way if Geoff turned in anyway violent.

The was a sound of a key turning in a lock, and the scraping of metal as the security chain was moved. The door peeled open slowly. Ryan almost felt nervous as the door gave way to Geoff Ramsey, staring out at him, 'What do _you_ want?' he asked, eyebrows furrowed, 'Get the fuck off'a my property!'

 _So he's drunk again, no surprises there really..._ Ryan mused. Geoff's sober days were few and far between lately, 'Good to see you too. Can I come in?' Ryan did not wait for an answer and stepped closer, inching into the doorway.

Geoff moved to stand fully in his way, 'I said, **fuck off.** '

Ryan stretched his arms above his head, yawned, 'How's Griffin?' The connection between Ryan's fist and Geoff's face was sharp and Ryan enjoyed each second of it. Geoff recoiled, stumbling backwards into the house. Ryan stepped over the threshold, 'Millie?' He was faster than the drunkard, moving downwards and pinning him to the floor, straddling him, hands holding his arms down, 'Still staying with friends?'

'Fuck you!' Geoff attempted to utilise his mouth, ready to spit. Ryan's hand came to cover his mouth smoothly. Anger flooded Geoff's eyes.

'Fuck, you.' Ryan's response was soft and calm. Geoff was unnerved by his tone, and strained against his ex-colleagues strength. Ryan humoured him, allowing his pitiful fighting to continue. Ryan had been holding off on doing anything to Geoff, but enough was enough, 'You're not the only one suffering, Ramsey,' it was almost a snarl, 'sometimes I want to down three bottles of cheap booze; quit my job; but I don't! Being drunk off my ass twenty-four hours a day isn't going to help anyone, least of all Gavin!' He'd struck a nerve.

Geoff yelled out as he fought and won, breaking from Ryan's hold and sitting up fast. His fist struck, and Ryan recoiled this time, falling away to the side and granting Geoff his freedom. Ryan hurried to his feet, but found that his efforts were for naught as Geoff remained on the flood, breathing heavily, 'Gavin's dead.'

With a shake of his head, Ryan scoffed in disbelief, 'Do you really think that..?' The thought had crossed his own mind on one or two moments of insanity, but typically Ryan saw Gavin as nothing more than alive. Missing, yes, but always alive. Gavin might never return, he might linger on Wikipedias page of “Unsolved Disappearances” for years to come, but Ryan would never think of him as _dead_. Why did Geoff simply assume the worst? The police did, but it was their job. It was Geoff's job, as Gavin's friend, not to. Ryan wasn't one hundred percent clear on how Ray felt regarding Gavin's “status”, nor Jack; but he hoped they weren't thinking such dire things.

After leaving Rooster Teeth, Ray had taken to Twitch, happy enough to play games but in a place far away from anything related to Gavin. Ryan spoke to him every other day and they remained close. Jack was technically still under the employment of Rooster Teeth, but the days spent in the building was dwindling. It was sad, Ryan longed to be able to do something to stop it all.

The text. It could help getting come form of closure; it could reveal an entire chapter in the book of Gavin's mysterious disappearance. Ryan only wished it would not end with a funeral, 'You don't deserve him...' He offered a hand to Geoff.

Geoff didn't take it, clambering to his feet of his own accord, locking his eyes on Ryan when he was upright again, 'What're you doing here, Ryan?' He sounded so incredibly tired.

'Snapping you out of whatever you want to call _this_.' he gestured vaguely to Geoff and then withdrew his hand.

'I didn't ask you to.'

'No,' Ryan agreed, 'but that's what friends do,' he watched several emotions sweep across Geoff's face before continuing, 'that and I've got some news...' Geoff was silent, but obviously curious. Ryan continued, 'Michael got a text from Gavin's phone. I don't want you to get your hopes up but...'

The change was instant as Geoff's shoulders lifted and he stood a little straighter. This was important, the first lead they'd had in the entire time that Gavin had been missing.

* * *

_'What do you mean? He left here at four, he should be there.' Geoff had answered Dan with honest confusion as his colleagues around him paused in what they were doing, listening in on the one side of the conversation they could hear, while trying to ignore their in-game music. Geoff was shaking his head as Dan spoke on the other end, 'I'm going to call him.' he pushed his chair backwards away from the desk, 'What?'_

_There was a pause in the conversing as Geoff looked over at the clock on the wall, 'That was half an hour ago.'_

* * *

At the time, Geoff wasn't particularly worried, but he knew that Dan would have been jumping to all kinds of conclusions. Gavin wouldn't just up and vanish without a word. He might just be caught up in traffic, having hailed a cab. He could've forgotten to charge his phone the night before, and the battery could have died.

There was no need to panic.

 


	4. Geoff [part 2]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is the shorter part of the split, and committed mostly to a 'flashback' of the first six hours after Gavin went missing.
> 
> If anything sounds wrong regarding, phones or police based things, I claim artistic license and ask you to just roll with it.

_Eventually the firsts stages of panic began to set in, as the clock ticked on and struck ten with Gavin failing to turn up anywhere. Dan had headed back to the office, where “mommy” and “daddy” (otherwise known as Geoff and Jack) were assuring them all that there was no reason to be concerned._

_“Gavin probably just got side-tracked.” Talking as though Gavin disappeared frequently. He did not, and his phone hardly ever went to voicemail. On the rare occasions it did, you could expect a call back within the hour. Six hours and no phone call later, Ray knew he wasn't the only one who **was** concerned. Both Jack and Geoff had plastered on a brave face, but Ray could tell that even they weren't buying their own bullshit._

_Ryan and Jack were outside in the main building, finishing up talking to the people who had remained in the office after hours after hearing of Gavin's so called “antics”. By now however, most had long since left and returned home. Ray, remaining with the crew, had taken to busying himself in Minecraft, working silently on a build. He was sure Michael was cursing him out, but the normal motions kept him calm. He was surprised by how much he already missed the Briton, even though this was no different to any other night, save the fact Gavin hadn't just gone home._

_The office door opened and the three of them currently in the office snapped to attention, turning their gazes. They deflated a little at Jack's form stepping inside. Michael had words ready to go and didn't give Jack the chance to say anything before he was questioning him._

_Jack shut the door behind him, casting a barely concealed glance at Gavin's empty desk, 'Nobody's seen or heard from him. Dan got a text at about three fifty, but nothing since.'_

_'We've gotta call the police,' Michael pressed on, 'somet ain't right, this isn't like Gavvy...' he paused and shot Geoff a look, '...boss?'_

_Geoff, who had been watching the clock again, turned to eye Michael, but it was Jack who spoke, 'I think that's a bit much too soon. Let's... let's give him some time.'_

_'Time? Time to do what?' Michael asked._

_Jack shrugged awkwardly, 'I dunno, dude... but it's only been six hours, let's... wait until tomorrow.'_

_' **Only**?' Michael scoffed, 'What the fu-?'_

_'Enough,' Geoff cut Michael off, 'Jack's right. We're assuming the worst, let's wait. If he's not shown up come the morning, then we'll call the police.' Michael, as one could imagine, was not a big fan of that plan. Ray felt the same. He knew that calling the police sooner in missing persons cases did sometimes prove fruitful; but Gavin hadn't even been gone ten hours. Was Gavin ever a missing person? Ray's gut told him “ **yes** ”._

_Michael got up form his chair to stretch, 'Where's Ryan?'_

_'With Dan.' was the reply Jack gave him, voice quiet and eyes downcast. He was uncomfortable._

_Silently, Ray saved his game and closed it down, 'I think we should call it a night.' Jack looked up at him, relief flooding his features. Ray had been correct; he'd not wanted to be the one to suggest it, perhaps fearful of Michael's wrath._

_To their surprise, Michael replied with a short, 'Fine.' He turned to fix Ray with a dark stare, 'Go. I don't need you here.'_

_'You're gonna stay here all night?' Ray asked, barely hiding his surprise._

_'No, he's not,' Geoff spoke again, finally finding his feet and standing, 'we're all going. Michael included. Ray could see that Michael considered arguing, a glint of defiance in his eyes, but then after a beat, he relented._

* * *

'A text?' Geoff breathed, moving a hand to his injury and rubbing at it gently.

Ryan nodded, 'If you're finding yourself challenged in your current state, let me help you out. That means that the phone is on; in use. We might finally be able to get some damn answers...' he paused to allow Geoff a moment to try and get his drunken mind around the new information, 'will you come?'

Geoff was silent as he mulled it over, unsure if he should. Ryan stepped closer and placed a hand on Geoff's shoulder, offering him a smile. Geoff let out a breath, 'Of course.'

 


	5. Texts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really really struggled with this chapter, I have continued to fiddle with it but it's just not getting any better.  
> I am sorry.  
> -  
> Square brackets are text messages.  
> Brackets with a "less-than" sign at the beginning are received texts.  
> Brackets with a "more-than" sign at the end are sent texts.
> 
> WARNING: Offensive language in the linked Text Messages.

_February was upon them already, and Michael cursed the world as it continued turning, uncaring. Since Gavin's disappearance, he'd taken to watching old videos of **him** , both in public videos posted for the community (such as AHWU), and videos that had never left the privacy of Michael's phone and/or computer. Michael was sure that the community was seeking comfort in old videos too, and that he was being entirely selfish in keeping videos to himself, but they hadn't been recorded with the intention of putting them on the internet for thousands of people to view. No. These videos were Michael's, his alone._

_Once, a few people had actually had the balls to suggest making a video with kind words spewed like burning vomit. To Michael, a video like that would look like defeat, as though they had given up on him ever showing up. When they'd cornered him to ask he'd offered only; "You can do it, but don't expect me to participate.". He'd not heard anything about the idea since. Fans had already made similar videos, some with sad songs, others with happy ones, but all pretty much saying the same old thing._

_"We miss you. Please be safe. Please come home. We love you."._ _Things that Michael had texted to Gavin every day, with no success as they had all remained undelivered. The fans didn't deserve to miss him, they didn't know him. They didn't miss his presence every day. His empty desk stung like a warm blade in Michael's chest and stole his breath away. He wondered if the ache would ever fade. Yes, it would; when Gavin came home. When he was back sitting at his desk. Only then, would it stop hurting._

* * *

Ryan had been quick to leave after claiming he had to do battle with Geoff, and a phone call just would not cut it. Michael had been left alone in the office, and he'd been fuming over that bastard and their text. How fucking dare they. Michael was well within his rights to text Gavin as much as he damn well wanted to. Before leaving, Ryan had told him not to send any other messages, but honestly... when did Michael ever do as he was told? He unlocked his phone again, ready to send a few choice words to whomever had Gavin's phone, only to realise that he'd received [two more messages](http://i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y501/ayesis/Screen%20Shot%202016-01-06%20at%2014.16.16_zpsogtkupev.png) from them. Rude didn't cover it, and he started to type out a reply but paused. As much as he might want to, raging on them probably wouldn't help much. He deleted what he'd already done and then re-did it, sending it off quickly.

**[please tell me how you got that phone it's my friends and he's missing] > **

Michael knew that he shouldn't be striking up a conversation with the guy, he should just call the police, tell them that the phone was in use, but it was too tempting to try and pry out any information by himself. His eyes never left the screen, and in his head Michael counted. Beginning at one and continuing until he got a reply. He had no time to read it as another text came in and sat neatly under it. 

**< [fucking calm down man i found it last year all busted up]**

**< [i only just got around to fixing it up cuz i was arrested like]**

They found it? Then the phone wasn't stolen? Who broke it? Did Gavin do it? Why would he do that?

**[where did you find it?] >**

**[hello? Please you have to tell me where you found it!] >**

Michael needed answers, did this stranger on the other end not realise that this was serious? Michael, out of habit now, looked up to the clock on the wall. It was coming up twenty past one in the afternoon. Ryan had only been gone ten minutes or so, he wouldn't be back any time soon and Michael knew for a fact that he might just go mad if this person kept him waiting. He stood up and pocketed his phone before leaving the office, stepping out through the open door. There was nobody in the immediate area but he could hear the dull hum of activity coming from the other offices. So many things had to be called to a halt. _RWBY_ had been altered not because of Gavin (as he had no character) but because of Michael's point blank refusal to record lines for it. He didn't know why he had refused to do his job; probably claiming that it was hard enough being an Achievement Hunter without worrying about anything else (even though Ryan found no troubles in still doing both).  _X-Ray and Vav_ had no Gavin, no Michael and in turn, had no need of Ray.  _Slow Mo Guys_ was just placed gently on the back burner, Dan assuring devoted fans over Twitter that there would be new content as soon as Gavin returned. Because he would return. Dan was one of the few who felt the same as Michael in that regard.

Taking a long breath in, Michael set off for a walk around the building. He had no preference as to where he went so long as he was away from their office for a time. The thought of walking around Rooster Teeth filled with people who would probably be as depressed as he was, did not thrill him the slightest. Perhaps he'd walk the half a mile to that coffee shop that he and Gavin used to frequent. Michael's phone alerted him to a text message and Michael hurried to pull the phone from his pocket.

**< [in austin texas, fucking smashed up on the sidewalk yknow]**

**[where in Austin?] >**

**< [i cant fucking remember ,last year]**

**< [fucking austin, some park i think i dont fucking no dude]**

Michael shook his head, asking them what park. There were a few in Austin after all.

**< [fuck you man i told you i dont remember]**

**[either you start remembering or I'm calling my other boy] >**

**< [all i can tell you is fucking walnuts man, dont call nobody im still on parole]**

'This was a fucking park?' Michael grumbled, irritated.

**< [fuck there were trees and green shit going on you tell me]**

This guy was fucking high as a kite and Michael shot back another text, telling him bluntly that he wanted the phone back, without complaint. "Smartass" wasn't keen, asking him what he meant, that he wasn't going to give it up and that Gavin shouldn't have dropped it. Michael's rage bubbled quietly as he replied "cops it is". He wished he could have seen the guys face. Judging by the texts he got back in reply, he was sure it would have been a right picture. Michael asked him politely to let him know when the police arrived.

Such brilliant grasp of language and grammar, Michael was impressed. He read the texts as they came in, scoffing at the demands being put forward. The stranger tried to bargain, but Michael just called him an asshole and sent him a foolish emoticon. The next text he got was from Ryan, telling him that he'd tamed the "beast" and was heading back to the office. The coffee shop could wait.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is actually a Starbucks under half a mile away from the RT offices, unless all my information is wrong, which it could be.
> 
> The parks Michael asks about are "Bartholomew District Park" and "Mueller Lake Park", both parks close to the RT offices (unless I am using the wrong information).
> 
> Michael's "other boy" is Ryan.
> 
> IF all my information IS wrong, just... roll with it.


	6. The Topic Of Dicks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can probably tell by now, my chapter titles are poor.
> 
> -  
> Another chapter I struggled with.  
> This is it. It's all downhill from here with my ability to word.  
> Enjoy your stay, folks.

Two weeks later, and Michael was sitting none too comfortably at the table in which he shared with Ryan and Geoff. The had decided to celebrate the arrival of May with a dull visit to a coffee shop in downtown Austin. They chose to sit inside, longing to savour the air conditioning. It was quite quiet, with only a few other tables filled with patrons. Michael wasn't paying much attention to the conversation being held, instead allowing his mind to drift.

The Saturday after Gavin's vanishing act had passed in almost a blur for Michael, even now he didn't really recall what he did on that day, save hope that Gavin was okay, and that when he turned up, he would have a jolly good explanation for why he had buggered off in the damn first place. By the time Sunday had rolled around they'd all come to the decision that it was time for them to involve the police and officially report Gavin missing.

 _“Is this normal behaviour?”_ , they'd asked, _“How often does he do this?”._

“No it's not normal, he never does this.” Had been Geoff's stern reply. At first the police hadn't been keen to report him missing so soon, but as they went through a list three miles long, it became more apparent that this was extremely unusual behaviour for the young man, and that had been that. Geoff had been on the phone for well over an hour and a half, answering questions. He'd left ten minutes into the call.

* * *

_With Geoff absent for the time being, the remaining crew all concentrated on some form of work except for Michael, who found himself reading a long list of things that police ask upon someone making a missing persons report. It was longer than he expected. There were a staggering eighteen bullet points. One of them with eight sections, leading onto even more bullet points. He reached the last two pages and the words were dull._

_“Actions your family can undertake”. There were five points, one of which was the act of putting up missing persons flyers around your community. Would the police create them or would someone in Rooster Teeth’s Art Department be drafted for that?_

_The next header read “Actions to Undertake to Take Care of Yourself and your Family”. In this section there were another six points. One stood out more than the others though; try not to blame yourself for the disappearance of your loved one._

_How could they not somehow blame themselves? Michael was almost one hundred percent certain that Geoff would be feeling as though he'd done something to cause this. They might all start to assume that it was something they'd done... but would they then start to accuse others? Would Michael accuse Ryan (or any of them) of being responsible? Their cruel words and teases (however much they were intended as jokes) forcing Gavin away? Michael closed the tab and tried to shake the feeling of sudden and crippling guilt._

* * *

When Geoff had returned, he did so alongside Dan, and the two of them had asked the others to leave the office for a while so that they could make the distressing call to Gavin's family back in England. Michael hadn't timed it, simply joining Ray and Jack for a hot drink while Ryan had excused himself from the group. They'd spent the best part of another forty minutes sitting in silence until they all got a text from Geoff, calling them back to the office.

* * *

_Dan wasn't there when they returned, but Ryan had returned already and they two of them were talking quietly. The three stragglers settled back at their desks, but their work was ignored. It had been a little under forty-two hours since Michael had last seen Gavin. With it now being “official”, and his family informed, the next step in at least Michael's mind, were things like the missing persons posters he'd read about earlier and possible press releases. Not to mention the fans; how were they supposed to reveal that kind of thing to the fans? That would turn out to be a delightful conversation..._ _**“...and while we're on the topic of dicks; Gavin is fucking missing; what an absolute knob.”** _

_And really, it wasn't even going to be a conversation. It would be entirely one-way. Some unlucky bastard would have to stand in front of a camera and list off all the information they had, and everything that had happened since four o'clock on Friday afternoon. Originally it was going to be released in a carefully constructed written statement, but then Matt deemed that far too impersonal and suggested that they do it in a video instead. Being his idea, Michael had assumed that Matt himself would've have taken that task on, but while it wasn't confirmed yet, Jack had bravely offered to be the bearer of bad news. Michael had no idea just how they were going to put it into words for a video to be viewed by thousands. Releasing a written statement was one thing but putting it into a video..._

_Michael could see it now, fans logging onto the website, onto YouTube and Reddit, spying the header, clicking in a confused panic, wondering what had happened. Michael had to give Jack props for offering to do it, Michael couldn't of, he would never be able to get any of the words out._

* * *

'Michael?'

Blinking his thoughts away, Michael focused his gaze on Ryan and Geoff who sat opposite, 'Sorry, what?'

Ryan shook his head softly before speaking, 'You want another drink?'

Michael noticed the cups on the table then, they're all empty. He could not recall finishing his coffee but he felt as though his body might appreciate another one and so he nodded, 'Sure, I'll get them... same?' his friends nodded the affirmative and Michael stood up, heading over to the counter to order. There was a gentlemen in front of him and so his stood in line behind him, eyes drifting again, this time to the television screen that was mounted on the wall to his right, above where Ryan and Geoff were both sitting. The sound from it was put through to speakers throughout the shop and Michael realised it was showing the news.

He'd given up with the news some time ago now, after the police had stopped their investigation. There was never any news on worth hearing about. Michael turned his head away as he tried to recall what drinks Ryan and Geoff had had previously. The television droned on in the background.

 _'…investigating reports, suggesting a body of a young man has been found in Walnut Creek Metropolitan Park during the early hours of this morning...'_  All thoughts of coffee left Michael's head as his stomach dropped down into his shoes and he slowly turned to look back at the television. The female reporter continued to talk, _'...yet to confirm anything, but there is concern that the body may belong twenty-X year old Gavin Free, who went missing last May...'_

Michael's world, held together by the smallest threads of hope, suddenly shattered, falling from around him and fading into dust, leaving him standing dumbly in line, eyes wide and breath caught in his throat as the reporter continued on and the barista called to him, 'Gavin...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twenty-X because I've still not fit this story into a particular year thus have no idea what age Gavin would be.  
> Like RWBY came out in July (I think) 2013, but for this story 2013 seems too late, like I was going for 2011-2012 but yeah. So, put it where you like. It is after all, AU, so...  
> (Still if I ever figure it out (I won't), I'll let you know.)  
> \--  
> I've no idea how many more chapters there is likely to be. I've got like two endings. One could be the next chapter, one could be a few down the line.
> 
> This based on reasons (a lot of) I wrote down of why Gavin went missing in the first place and all the researching and working out I did to figure it all out and make it sound relatively plausible when I finally got around to that point in the story (if I ever did).
> 
> I'm a fan of the easy route when it comes to writing, but I fear for my life if I end this the easy way...
> 
> I did not mean for this to be this long. Please send help.


	7. May

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so done with this chapter I don't even care anymore.  
> I can't look at it anymore.  
> I am finished.  
> I hope it's not as bad as I think it is.  
> If it is that bad, I am sorry.  
> Life has been cruel lately.

_May _25_ _th_ , the year of the disappearance_

 

_The day had been long. When the alarm had gone off that morning he'd longed to just roll over and bury back into his duvet, desperate to try and get some more sleep though he supposed it probably would have been pointless. He hated how the night time hours dragged on even more so than the waking ones. Every night he got a few hours of precious rest, but a lot of the time spent in bed was him simply tossing and turning, wishing that he could flick a switch and turn everything off. He never could. He sighed softly, pausing the game he had been playing. He threw a look over to the clock on the wall. Three forty-five. He turned his gaze back to the computer screen and eyed the menu for a long moment before he clicked “save and quit”. He'd been working on a build in Minecraft for the past hour, but he was finished for today._

_'Okay,' he stretched and yawned, eyes watering, 'that's me.' he closed the game fully and went about shutting down his computer too. He wouldn't be needing it for a time, he wouldn't be back at the office over the weekend after all._

_'That the time already?' Ryan was the first to acknowledge that he'd spoken, pausing in his own work to turn and look at him, 'You lucky bastard.' Ryan's tone was playful and his lips were pulled up in a smile._

_'Sorry,' he replied softly spinning around in his chair to look over at Ryan, 'but it's not luck. It's forethought. You should get some.' he offered a cheeky smile, hands coming up to rub at his temples. Ryan gave him an irritated look but then he laughed and turned away. Gavin watched him continue with his work, eyes falling away after a moment and flicking over to Michael. He was holding his game controller, and must have been physic as he looked up and over at his friend._

_'What?' Michael asked him._

_Gavin shook his head, smiled again, hands falling form his head, 'Nothing.'_

_Michael's eyebrows furrowed as he eyed Gavin, 'Don't let Dan get you too pissed before we get there, yeah?' He set the controller down, turned and pulled his headphones off, fixing Gavin with a stare._

_'He'll have bought me one before I even get there; do you want me to be a dick and say no?' Gavin asked him, picking up his phone and unlocking it, going into his texts, sending off a quick message to Dan to let him know he would soon be on his way._

_'Tell him I said not to get fucked up without us,' Michael insisted, 'you can have a cup of tea instead.' He was rolling his eyes as he turned back to his computer. Gavin waited a beat or two before standing up from his desk._

_'See you later then!' he told them all cheerfully._

_'Yeah dude,' Geoff turned towards him, 'have fun. We'll see you in a couple of hours.'_

_Gavin nodded absently, 'Thanks...' he offered an awkward half-wave before he turned and left the office, shutting the door behind him with a soft click._

_Jack immediately stopped what he was doing and turned to Geoff, 'Dan knows?'_

_Geoff grinned devilishly back at his friend, 'Yeah, don't worry. Tonight all hell is gonna break loose. We're gonna get so fucked, and with luck, Gavin ain't gonna remember shit come this time tomorrow.'_

_'I thought he didn't want a “party” this year?' Ray piped up from across the room, 'He's been insistent for months that we don't arrange anything and that we just have a quiet night out.'_

_'When does Gavin ever want to just have a quiet night on his birthday?' Geoff shot back with a laugh, 'Relax, he'll have a great time. We've made sure of that.'_  

* * *

_Gavin walked casually through the office, his eyes downcast to his feet as he moved through the office, weaving through a small group of people and between two chairs, abandoned and seemingly forgotten. As he walked his colleagues wished him well, bidding him goodbye, telling him to have a good evening. Asking him to document the night just because some of it may end up making some pretty good content that they would share with the community, despite Gavin's protests._

_It was all in good fun of course and Gavin wasn't at all bothered by it. He was all for content, planned or not. Some of the best stuff was entirely unscripted and produced on a (typically) drunken whim. It was a good life. Full of great people and tons of fun. Gavin enjoyed it immensely and wondered often if he'd still be working for RoosterTeeth come his fortieth birthday. His heart always told him “yes”, but his brain tended to offer less enjoyable suggestions. Gavin ignored it mostly, silencing it with video games and crazy schemes. He's cross that bridge when he came to it; if he ever did._

_The front doors loomed ahead of him and he picked up his pace, hurrying past Barbara who called out to him, but the words were lost as he pushed open the doors and stepped outside into the warm afternoon air. He didn't miss a beat, never faltering, moving forwards with no hesitation. He brushed aside the nagging voice of Geoff, telling him to call for a taxi; he didn't need a taxi. He had been longing for a walk lately and if he was late to the bar, so be it. He knew that Geoff had planned something, though he had no idea what. Geoff's talents did not lie with keeping secrets well._

_Make no mistake, he'd keep them all the same, but you'd damn well know about it. You wouldn't know the facts, but the looks, smiles and childish giggling when you left the room weren't easy to ignore. Gavin almost liked how they all thought he was that dumb. Like he wouldn't notice handwritten notes, passed between desks and secret meetings before those two Let's Plays last week. He shook his head and paused. He'd reached the end of the “driveway” and was poised on the side of the main road that Geoff took every morning. It was quiet still, but it wasn't the rush hour yet so he wasn't surprised._

_Oddly, Gavin didn't really have much of nose for directions. Perhaps the directions were just exchanged for more nose at birth... He did know however that he had to turn left here and go out onto East 51 st and wander down it until he got to Berkman Drive, before aiming for the 290 highway. With luck (if he went the right way) he'd encounter Reagan High School. After that, he'd wing it._

_'Forethought.' he scoffed with a shake of his head. His hands clenched and unclenched as he felt his phone becoming heavier and heavier in his pocket with each passing second. He pulled it out, ignored the text from Dan and quickly turned it off, shoving it back into his jeans pocket with a huff. He crossed over to the left hand side of the driveway and hurried out onto the verge of East 51 st Street and began walking._

* * *

_May 28 th, the year of the _disappearance__

 

_He'd been given a script to read from but he had refused to use it, determined to speak from his heart. It would take a while to get through it, to record it. He was certain he'd make a fair few mistakes, loose the confidence to talk, break down even... but he couldn't read words written by someone else, even if they knew *him*. Jack took a long sip of water and swallowed. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath._

_'Are you ready?'_

_Jack looked around, shrugging, 'I guess...'_

_Ryan's face was mostly blank but there was something in his eyes, Jack was sure. Ryan offered Jack a reassuring pat on his shoulder, 'I'll be right here. If you want to stop-,'_

_'No,' Jack cut him off, 'no I'll be alright.'_

_Ryan didn't look all that convinced but nodded and withdrew his hand. Jack let of a soft sigh, ran his hands over his shirt and turned towards the brightly lit set. It was plain and white. It needn't been anything but when it was bearing such bad news. Jack wished that such news didn't have to be given in such a manner. It was so impersonal. He wished he could meet with the community in person to tell them but alas... He walked over onto the set, turned one-hundred and eighty degrees to his right and faced the camera and his audience. His gaze drifted to Ryan, standing to the left of the cameras. He smiled a little, nodded his head once._

_Jack returned the gesture and focused once again on the cameras, 'Okay,' he said, 'let's do this.'_


	8. The Video

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extremely short chapter, please see end notes for details and reasons.

_'What's up guys, this is Jack from Achievement Hunter... I'm sorry to say that today I must be the barer of bad news. It is with absolutely no pleasure that I'm standing here recording this, and there is no easy way of saying what needs to be said, so please bare with me as I undoubtedly struggle though this..._

_To begin, this video is being recorded on May 28_ _th_ _20XX. It will be posted on RoosterTeeth's YouTube channel and on our website so that everyone within the community can see it._

_This announcement is one that all of us here at RoosterTeeth felt you should hear from us before any press or media outlet got wind of it and blew it entirely out of any sane proportion. The situation is as follow..._

_As of 5pm on May 25_ _th_ _, that's the Friday just gone, our close friend and colleague Gavin Free left the offices here in Austin and has not been seen or heard from since._

_It was our understanding that Gavin left the office with the intention of going into central Austin for belated birthday drinks with Dan. The other members of Achievement Hunter, including myself, were supposed to follow after we'd finished our normal working hours. Gavin never showed up at the bar._

_The police have been informed and have already begun their preliminary investigations._

_In the meantime, I would like to ask on behalf of all of us and the police, that if you have any information regarding Gavin's whereabouts, or have seen him since 4pm on Friday May 25th, to please contact the Austin police department on 512-974-5000._ _That's 512-974-5000. If you are calling from outside of Texas, please use the alternative numbers now on the screen._

_Now finally, I would like to ask all of you to join myself and the rest of the staff here at RoosterTeeth in hoping for Gavin's safe and quick return..._

_Thank you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It you're as confused as I think you might be, this is the video that was made to announce to the RoosterTeeth community of Gavin's disappearance. 
> 
> (If you were not confused, congrats, you won the Tower of Pimps. 10/10)
> 
> This was originally part of a bigger chapter but I kind of like it standing alone like this.
> 
> It's short and to the point, Jack would likely have been struggling throughout the recording, and the video is probably edited a lot to cut out his distress.  
> -  
> The next chapter, while mostly written, is a collection of words that I am not at all happy with so I'm trying to find the time and power to edit and change and re-write. Please bare with me. This story is not over yet.


	9. Faceless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I used to LIKE this chapter.  
> -
> 
> Yes! I changed the title of this story. O:  
> "Can You Hear The Night?" will make a reappearance.  
> -
> 
> Another short-ish chapter, to which I am sorry... but... I'm... basically being mean and spreading the pain out a bit.  
> Again this chapter was longer, but I felt like this was a good place to hack it into bits.

'I'm really hoping this asshole hasn't gotten our hopes up for nothing...' Geoff muttered, glaring darkly at a collection of scratches in the delicate finish of the table top.

Ryan, who had been gazing out of the large floor to ceiling window directly to his left, turned his attention to his friend, 'I'd rather hope that the police can find something out from Gavin's phone.'

Geoff shook his head, 'Bet they're cursing the whole thing. If they find something they might have to reopen the case, and the "he left of his own accord" attitude will be thrown out. I mean, for all they know he did...'

Ryan gave him a stern look, 'We've already agreed that he wouldn't have done that. The police _wanted_ an easy open and shut case and with no video evidence of an actual kidnapping, that's exactly what they got.'

'Just our luck.' Geoff grouched, recalling the moment he'd seen the video footage of Gavin as he left the office building, and while they had cameras, coverage had become patchy after that, and they hadn't seen what had happened after he'd reached the main road. Naturally, there were no buildings opposite the driveway and even less cameras. 

'It's not just the lack of footage from RoosterTeeth, but everywhere else. He doesn't seem to show up on any other CCTV footage, at least according to the police. I mean yeah, Austin is huge but... Gavin's not hard to spot, even harder to miss if somebody was shoving him into the back of an entirely inconspicuous white transit van.' Geoff smiled a little and the two of them fell silent, occupied by their own thoughts.

The other sounds in the shop becoming slowly louder as a symphony of irritated voices rose from the depths like a crashing wave. Ryan looked around, towards the line at the counter where they seemed to emanate from. With equal parts confusion and concern, Ryan eyed Michael, and almost instantly knew that something was wrong. Michael was standing in line, with his head turned in their direction, eyes trained upwards. That itself wasn't a major cause for concern, instead it was the look on the young mans face that made worry niggle at the back of Ryan's mind. He followed his gaze.

On the small section of wall between the two windows, there was a television fixed a little way above their heads. Ryan could not see the screen from his current position and so he stood up, offering no explanation to a baffled Geoff. Ryan took two paces away from the table and then turned one hundred and eighty degrees to face the object of Michael's attention. A female reporter was on screen, commenting on something unimportant (the revival of Firefly was it?), but Ryan's gaze was drawn by the words running across the bottom of the screen. His breath caught in his throat. 

Geoff had risen by now, looking from Michael to the television. "Oh god" were his only words.

Ryan stepped backwards, as though putting another foot between himself and the TV would would help in some fashion. He hoped that he might jolt awake at any moment and realise that he was dreaming... or that this might even be just a sick joke. 

The chatter in the shop suddenly died as quickly as it had risen, the only sound remaining came from the news on screen and then Geoff. Geoff's voice, speaking to Michael. It was soft and gentle, an attempt at calming the two of them before panic completely overtook their sanity. 

Ryan turned away from the TV and watched Michael, who was gripping his wallet tightly in his right hand, and Geoff, who was taking hold of Michael's right upper arm and slowly coaxing him out of the shop. Ryan followed. He absolutely should not panic.

Only a few seconds later and they were all standing outside. Geoff was tapping Michael's cheek lightly, trying to rouse him from his stupor, 'We don't know if it's him, okay? It's  **not** him, Michael. It's  _just_ a body. Faceless, nameless. Gavin  _ **isn't**_ dead.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fear some of you may be confused as to the arrangement of the window and TV, which is my fault for not being able to describe it any better.  
> Two windows (floor to ceiling heights), with an expanse of wall between them just big enough to mount a TV on.
> 
> Also, this coffee shop is based on a real Starbucks not far from the RoosterTeeth offices, my headcanon for this story is that they use this coffee shop a lot, even before all hell broke loose.


	10. The Poster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The link you will see will take you to a fake poster I made for this story.  
> If you do not want to see it, please do not click it.

_29th May, three (and a bit) days after the disappearance_

 

 

_[ I can’t believe it, are we sure it’s not April 1st? ]_

_[ this was not the kind of news i wanted to wake up to ]_

_[ dammit Gavin ]_

_[ we’re all thinking of you, stay strong guys! ]_

 

_‘It’s more or less as expected…’ Jack announced to the room as he sieved continuously through the numerous YouTube comments that had been left on the announcement video, ‘there are mixed reactions…’ he paused for a moment as he kept reading, ‘some people think we’re pranking them.’_

_The video had only been live for a little under a day and it had been viewed over a million times already on YouTube alone. It was a good thing, Jack supposed. It meant that people were informed about Gavin and that they could help in the coming days, or indeed weeks._

_‘Some fucking prank,’ Ray replied darkly from his desk, scrolling through the comments that had been left on the RoosterTeeth website, ‘how can they think that?’_

_Jack skimmed over a long thread dedicated to pretty much anything but hoping for Gavin’s safe return, ‘I guess they don’t want to except it as the truth… they’re likely in shock.’_

_‘They’re not the only ones.’ Ray grumbled, sighing, resting his chin on his hand as he pushed through the ever expanding comment section. The room fell silent, the four of them content to refrain from talking. It’s not as if they had all that much to discuss. There was only so many times they could offer each other an emotional crutch before it became irritating and felt more pointless than supportive._

_Geoff suddenly spoke up, ‘I’ve just got an e-mail from Michael…’ he trailed off for a moment, as if he was trying to collect himself and it became clear that that’s exactly what he had been doing when he spoke again, ‘the poster is done…’_

_At once, all sense of purpose within the comments was lost and Jack swivelled around on his chair, turning to face Geoff’s screen. For a few seconds, nothing happened. Geoff simply sat, his hand hovering over the mouse, seemingly battling an inner demon over whether or not he should open the file that Michael had attached into the e-mail._

_‘Geoff?’ Jack pressed, tone gentle._

_Geoff said nothing, but he eventually clicked the mouse, opening the file. The two of them waited for it to load, breath caught. The file took a good twenty seconds before it flickered up properly on screen, and when it did, Jack wished Geoff hadn’t opened it at all. On first glance, it looked like every other Austin missing persons poster._

_[Two thick red banners running across the page at the top and the bottom, with large white text sitting over the top of that. The only other distinguishing features were the two giant pictures of Gavin’s face plastered in the middle of it.](http://i1278.photobucket.com/albums/y501/ayesis/FAKE_missing-poster-for-FIC-gavin_zpszmdgnluf.png)Jack swallowed a lump in his throat and Geoff had the good mind to close the file before the others could see it. It was as though it was a secret, like Ray and Ryan had no idea what was going on and needed to be kept in the dark until the opportune moment._

_Ryan found his voice after hours sitting in silence, ‘Should we be putting posters up, or do the police do that..?’ He was as new to this as the rest of them. He assumed that it would be something the police would see to; but don’t ask him why. He was perhaps of the opinion that it was their job._

_Jack doused that idea rather quickly, ‘I’m pretty sure that it’s up to the friends and family to erect any posters,’ he turned away from Geoff and looked over to Ryan, ‘but… I’m sure if we made the poster available to download for the community, the fans would help out. Those based in Austin might be willing to put some up around the city and those who aren’t could spread it around online…’ Jack turned back once more, this time to his computer, ‘I’ll draft a post for the website and talk to Burnie and Matt…’ he fell quiet, getting to work._

_A good fifteen minutes passed, and Ray, who had been getting increasingly frustrated, finally voiced his annoyances, ‘It’s all over Twitter, Facebook… Tumblr too…’ he paused and then, ‘…messages of condolence? What the fuck? He’s_ **_missing_ ** _not dead.’ he shifted in his seat, ‘It’s not even been four fucking days!’ He began to type furiously on his keyboard._

 

_[ It’s early days yet. Please don’t send us condolences. #GavinFree isn’t dead. Please try to believe that. ]_

 

_He sent the Tweet out to his followers, rage barely remaining under his control. He spared a moment to wonder what Michael’s reaction had been to such words. There was every chance that he was replying to each negative comment with a stunning array of swear words. Had Ray any less self control, he’d surely have found himself doing the same._

_‘I’m going to see Michael and… maybe get to printing out some posters…’ Ryan’s voice rose above the silence as he stood from his seat, stretching, ‘Ray, you look like you need a break...'_

_Ray, fingers poised above the keyboard again, paused in his antics and looked up and over to Ryan. He allowed himself a brief moment to think and then answered, ‘Sure… poster printing has got to be a little more enjoyable than Tweet reading, especially when a large percentage of it is absolute horse shit.’ He spared Geoff a look as he stood, ‘Wanna come?’_

_Geoff, who wasn’t looking, couldn’t have known that Ray was addressing him, but he shook his head anyway. No more words were exchanged, and Ray quietly followed Ryan out of the small office._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poster is probably not 100% perfect.  
> I made it months ago so...  
> Anyway. yeah...  
> This chapter went through much edits and many changing.  
> (I don't like it, but I'm never going to post it if I keep fiddling so, fuck it.)


	11. Walnuts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is words?  
> I dunno.  
> Writing is hard.  
> This story will be told dammit.  
> (Please forgive any errors, I am not very well at the moment and super tired and so very out of it.)

 

> _Previously......_ Geoff was tapping Michael's cheek lightly, trying to rouse him from his stupor, 'We don't know if it's him, okay? It's  **not** him, Michael. It's  _just_ a body. Faceless, nameless. Gavin  _ **isn't**_ dead.'

Michael seemed unconvinced of Geoff’s attempt at reassurance, ‘How many other people have gone missing in the past year..?’

Ryan felt for him… though the three of them stood there hoping that it wasn’t Gavin that had been found, the likelihood of it _not_ being him was smaller than any of them would prefer. Despite that, Geoff was unwaveringly adamant - “It’s not him” - and in that moment, Ryan found himself convinced of Geoff’s new faith. Gavin _was_ alive until they saw otherwise. An unidentified body was just that.

‘No,’ Michael was talking, ’no, no… Geoff… the park, the walnuts… the, the guy that had Gav’s phone said that he found it at a park that had something to do with walnuts…’ Geoff shot Ryan a look as they listened to the insane babble that Michael was providing them, and the niggling worry in the back of Ryan’s head found it’s way to his stomach, nausea creeping up on him as things seemingly began to fall into place.

‘Are you sure?’ Ryan finally asked.

‘I’m sure,’ Michael nodded, taking a deep breath and running his hands over his face before exhaling it all, ‘I’m a hundred percent sure.’

Ryan looked away from them and thought for a moment. Could they go down there? Yes, of course they _could_ , though it probably wouldn’t get them anywhere. It would be cordoned off, crawling with police. What would be the point?

‘We should go,’ Michael’s suggestion cut cleanly into Ryan’s own train of thought, ‘Geoff let’s go to the park, right now.’ Geoff was tactfully avoiding Michael’s gaze and Ryan glanced between the two of them. Michael had that look on his face that generally got him what he wanted.

After a tense minute or two, Geoff finally sighed and nodded absently, ‘Okay.’ he paused, turned on the spot, smoothing his hands down over his shirt, as if nervous. He looked up at Ryan, ‘Call…’ he paused, swallowed, ‘call Jack… and Ray.’

Ryan scoffed, eyes rolling expertly, ‘What do you want me to tell them? “Oh hey guys, someone found a body and we’re going to investigate and make sure it’s not our friend”?’

Geoff’s frown was deep, ‘Maybe not quite like that… just, fill them in get them to meet us; and be nice about it.’

Be nice? Why should he? Jack and Ray both lost faith a long time ago, they didn’t deserve nice. Ryan watched in silence as Geoff lead Michael down the street towards the car. Turning away, Ryan took out his phone, staring it down for a moment. He’d call Jack first. Despite _everything_ , they would need “mama bear” if things went south. He quickly dialled Jack’s number. It rang four times and Ryan pondered hanging up, but then the call connected and Jack’s voice filtered over the line.

‘Hey,’ Ryan greeted, ‘we need to talk.’

* * *

 

‘So, y’know… naturally you gotta go back for the girl, it’s the decent thing to do,’ Ray clicked his tongue, ‘the only problem is that this game apparently doesn’t give you a waypoint, and I can’t remember where I left her. Fuck.’

The stream was going well so far. There were a little over three hundred people watching, which Ray considered a win these days, what with all the RoosterTeeth fans that couldn’t handle how he had dealt with Gavin’s disappearance. Ray knew what was being said and thought; but they were wrong. The disappearance had not been any kind of an opportunity to get away from RoosterTeeth in the sense that he was getting tired with it all. No, he left because he was unable to sit in the office two chairs from Gavin’s desk pretending nothing was wrong, when in-fact nothing was right.

His thoughts drifted for a moment before a Tip came in and he quickly read out the note that came with it. It was short but heartfelt, and as Ray finished reading, he looked solemnly into the camera, ’Thanks man. It’s nice that I can help you out. It’s hard for me too, but you guys are always there for me…’ he trailed off and exhaled, swallowing down his grief before he sat up a little straighter and cleared his throat.

‘Okay help me out here guys,’ he began again, moving his character around in the game, ‘do you know where the girl is?’ As he wandered aimlessly and waited on any assistance, he looked over to see his phone vibrating over his desktop. He spared a hand to pick it up and read the contact name.

**[ Jack Patillo ]**

Ray forced the call to end and put the phone back down, turning to his screens once more, ‘Where? What rover?’ he skimmed through the comments that streamed in, ‘Oh what? The dogs name was Rover? Are you serious? It’s fucking sad that I know where the bloody dog is…’ he laughed and shook his head before heading off in-game.

‘I wonder if this in the NPC that was teased about before the games launch? If you don’t know, there’s supposedly a character in the game that becomes a ridiculously big help to your character…’ Ray honestly tried to focus on the game, but he couldn’t help but wonder what Jack had wanted. He hadn’t heard from him in a few weeks, and an unplanned call from him was a surprise. His eyes moved to the chat window out of habit. There was a lull in the comments and he was able to read some as they remained on screen.

 

 **wokamoLee <[ **this game is so stupid its fun **]**

 **chumpion89 <[ **guys have u heard the austin news?? **]**  
****

**Yulvi05 <[ **Ray have you checked the Austin news? **]**  
****

**StickyRain007 <[ **what platform is he playing this on **]**  
****

**g0tmi1k <[ **what’s happening in austin? **]**  
****

Ray didn’t tend to avoid the news and so he was typically up to date, but he was curious as to what might be going on that had caused such a fuss. He paused his gameplay, ‘Okay guys I’ll be right back.’ He cut the camera too, and turned to the other screen, opening up a new tab in his already open browser window. He navigated to the news tab, which was set up to show things from the local area.

The first result was highlighted with only the words “BREAKING NEWS” and a picture of Gavin Free. Ray clicked the link and his heart started to pound almost painfully against his ribs. His eyes scanned over the header. **Body found in Austin park.** He wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep reading, but eventually found himself drawn in by sheer curiosity. 

 **[  At around XX;XX this morning, a body was found in Walnut Creek Metropolitan Park.** **Police are in attendance and have cordoned off the area. Initial reports suggest that the body is that of a male, but has yet to be officially confirmed. There are fears that the body could belong to missing person Gavin Free (pictured above), who disappeared last May. _This news story is still breaking and will be updated with more information as it continues to unravel. Subscribe to alerts to stay-…_ ]**

An irritating buzz cut Ray off and he slumped backwards in his chair, stunned into a dumb silence. He glanced over to his phone. It was ringing again, shuddering cheerfully across the wooden surface. Ray reached for it and answered the call, ‘Tell me it’s not him.’

To his dismay, Jack could not honour his request.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried.  
> Again I rewrote this many times before it became this and I'm still not 100% happy with it...  
> Ray's part really did not want to be written and I struggled...


	12. Downfall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday today.  
> Have a chapter.

_1st June, the year of the disappearance_

_A week had passed, and it was possibly the slowest week that the staff at RoosterTeeth had ever experienced. Posters had been erected around Austin, information had been spread far and wide across the internet, and the police were doing their jobs. CCTV footage was being looked over, from the RoosterTeeth offices, and from buildings that lined the streets in both directions, but there was nothing to be found but disappointment. A week in, and they were no closer to answers, and Gavin was still missing. The police had questioned every member of staff within the Austin offices, asking about all things Gavin. What were his relationships like? With friends, family, fans. Did he have any enemies?_

_Everyone more or less had the same answer; that Gavin was well liked by everyone._

_It was that answer that made the police begin to lean towards Gavin having left of his own accord. It only took a week for the police to lose traction in the kidnapping scenario, and it made Michael mad that they would believe the disappearance wasn't suspicious after everything that had been said. The Achievement Hunters themselves had been the first to insist that Gavin never would've done such a thing, he wasn't like that. If anyone was to up and leave without a word, it was more likely to be Ray or Geoff, but never Gavin._

* * *

 

_14th August, the year of the disappearance_

_The game they were playing was insanely good, and they knew that they'd have some success with it. Michael couldn't help but think how much Gavin would have liked it, and how terrible at playing it he would have been. He wasn't the only one, as Jack commented off-handedly that "Gavin will love this". Though perhaps the rest of them had been thinking it, the comment made them stumble to a halt and the mood in the room dropped instantly. The fun they'd been having was gone, and the tone was shot. Jack had apologised, but of course it would be cut from the final release, and the community would never know that it had happened._

_They would see five guys having fun one minute, and then a second later it would be dull and flat for seemingly no reason. The fans weren't stupid though, it was likely they would figure it out eventually. Content was lacking lately, nobody felt particularly up for a good game, or felt up to putting on a false pretence of having fun when they couldn't think about anything other than him. An hour later and they stopped playing, having finished what they had set out to do, and Geoff chose that moment to speak, calling for the others attention._

_Geoff waited as they turned to look at him, and he actually stood up from his chair, 'I... I'm not coming in tomorrow.'_

_They had tried to understand why, as far at they knew he hadn't got an appointment to go to. They sat and watched him for a good two minutes, baffled by the announcement. Ryan stood and questioned the statement._

_'I can't...' Geoff began, hands balling into fists, '...I can't keep...' he trailed off, unable to fully explain himself. With the first two words, they had understood. It was Gavin; or rather, it wasn't Gavin. The lack of Gavin was apparently something that Geoff could no longer deal with._

_The next day, they were surprised to find that Geoff had stuck to his word._

* * *

 

_22nd August, the year of the disappearance_

_It was just over a week since Geoff had left the office, and now Michael, Ryan and Jack were faced with another problem. Ray. He was standing in the doorway of the office, looking in at them. He was already an hour late and they had started to work without him, but now they paused in what they were doing (mostly editing), and gave him an audience. Ray shifted on his feet as though he'd rather they weren't looking at him._

_'What's up..?' Jack asked after a couple of minutes of awkward silence._

_Ray cleared his throat, made to step into the room but stopped and retreated, 'I love gaming.' It was an innocent comment to make when one did indeed love gaming, but the others felt the shift in the atmosphere and could tell that something was amiss, and that this wasn't a simple confession of love for his job. The three of them watched Ray and waited for him to continue, if he so found himself able to._

_'I love gaming,' he began anew, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself, 'but I can't keep this up,' he glanced at Jack who looked as though he now knew where this was going. Ray looked down at the floor, 'this false pretence. I want to game without feeling guilty, and I feel guilty every time we record without him... so...' he trailed off._

_'You're leaving...'_

_Ray looked up at Ryan, expecting a look that could kill, but the man just looked disappointed and Ray couldn't stay any longer, turning away and leaving, the guilt he felt following after him._

_Ryan and Jack shared a look as Michael sat dumbfounded. He couldn't believe it... first Geoff, now Ray._

_The world was ending, and it was all Gavin's fault._

* * *

 

_Present Day..._

 

There was a large crowd already, and Ryan wondered if they'd been there since the discovery, or if they'd flocked outside to see if it was “that internet dude”. Ryan and Geoff were following Michael, who was leading the way through the throng of people, moving ever closer to the large extended cordon. They all saw the police officers standing guard, holding back curious individuals. As they neared the front of the crowd, the people were making no conscious effort to move out of their way, but Michael didn't seem to care. He barely paused when he reached the tape line, ducking neatly under it and breaking into a run. Geoff shouted after him; and Ryan heard the words “fucking” and “shot” in quick succession.

Ryan knew that Michael was fast, but seeing him avoid two law enforcement officers who lunged at him without any signs of trouble was quite the experience. As Michael crossed over towards the crime scene, there was now at least a hundred yards between him and the crowd. As the people watched, Michael came to a sudden stop, and as if someone had been recording it in slow motion, he dropped to his knees. To Ryan's right Geoff was monologuing (mainly with expletives), and then he had surged forwards, mirroring Michael's actions by passing under the tape.

Any calls that Ryan made were pointedly ignored as Geoff started to run. Ryan watched as Geoff was tackled, and two grown men tumbled to the ground in a heap of swear words and censor bars. Perhaps this was a moment that they would recall fondly in the distant future, laughing about it while they swallowed cheap beer, but in the meantime Ryan leapt into action; rushing to his friends aid with hurried explanations.

They were allowed to remain, but refused permission to go any closer, and as they waited, Michael was hoisted to his feet and escorted away from what Ryan numbly recognised as a body bag. Minutes passed and Geoff was having even more words with the law, and Ryan was worried that he might actually get himself arrested, but as Michael approached them, Geoff's attention was quickly drawn away from prison.

Taking in the young man, Ryan and Geoff realised immediately that he was emotional, his eyes were red and his bottom lip was quivering. Ryan dreaded asking, but as it turned out, he didn't have to.

Michael's voice broke as he spoke, 'It's him... it's Gavin...'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter may be some time, but this story is not over yet.


	13. Hunters Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait.  
> Busy busy busy.  
> But my QCF is finished (hopefully), so... apart from when I am working, walking, eating or sleeping, that means more writing time.  
> Huzzah.

They were the words that they had been desperate not to hear. Ryan was stricken into silence, and Geoff somehow found the will to move forwards towards Michael as he became overrun with emotion. The crowd around them fell away, and the warm sunshine faded into a cold, damp, breeze. Ryan heard the distant calling of a voice he recognised and turned his head to look. There he saw Jack and Ray, pushing through the people that were so maddeningly unaffected by the news Michael had just delivered.

'Ryan!' Jack had noticed the mans gaze falling in his general direction, 'Ryan,' he paused briefly as he pushed through the front of the crowd and came to stand the other side of the tape, 'what's..?' Ray came up behind him, bumping into him, before moving deftly to one side. He started to talk, cutting off any attempts Jack might have made to continue.

'What's happened?' Ray's query was sharp, demanding. Ryan tried to alight them of the situation but his voice wasn't complying.

Jack, seeing his friends distress, turned his attention to Geoff and Michael. That sight was even worse than Ryan's struggling. Geoff had embraced Michael in a sort of half hug, Michael's head bowed and buried in Geoff's shoulder, 'Geoff?' Jack tried, fear rising up swiftly within him. He pressed against the tape and after a moments hesitation, lifted it up with one hand, passing through, Ray following suit at his side. As they walked into the cordon, they were quickly surrounded by men in crisp law enforcement uniforms. Jack tried to push through them but Geoff and the others seemed to fade, getting farther and farther away from him.

'Geoff!' Jack called out, and continued his efforts and then the people that had surrounded him suddenly drew away. With a quick glance around himself, Jack realised that he was well away from the crowd, hidden away behind other officers, as well as cars and white screens and tents. The others were there too, Michael and Geoff had since parted, but remained close enough so that they could call on each other if the need arose. Ryan was stood off to one side and Ray was loitering halfway between him and Jack.

Before any of them could speak, an older looking man stepped into their circle, he was dressed in a suit and looked about as official as one could, without the sunglasses and the bulletproof SUV. He cleared his throat, demanding their attention, 'Who the hell are you and what the hell were you thinking; rushing onto a crime scene like that?' The was a very long silence, where the man waited for answers and the five friends accidentally refused to give any.

As the seconds ticked by and slowly trickled into minutes, Jack finally found his voice, 'The... the body... we thought...' a pause, 'our friend went missing last year and-...'

The man cut him off, 'That doesn't give you permission to waltz past the tape and charge at and tackle officers of the law.' his eyes swept over the rest of them, 'these gentlemen will escort you out of the cordon. I do not want to see you here again. You'll be contacted only if the body is identified as your friend and the family wish you informed. Until then...' he gestured to two other men who were standing off to the side.

Jack moved first, leading the way and allowing the others to find the will to follow.

* * *

 

They were back at the offices; and Geoff had no idea how they'd gotten there. Presumably Ryan had driven him and Michael, and Jack had driven with Ray... but why here? Why the RoosterTeeth offices? Geoff felt sick to his stomach as he stood in the parking lot with the others. He couldn't go back in there; he'd left already with the intention of never going back.

Geoff spared a passing glance to Ray, who looked as uncomfortable as he was feeling; but had found his voice.

'What are we doing here?'

Ryan turned to face the bespectacled young man, and after a pause he shrugged, 'It felt like a good idea at the time...' he shot Geoff a look, 'you can't avoid the place forever...'

Geoff bristled, 'Watch me...'

'Avoiding the place won't bring him back, Geoff.' Ryan said gently, turning fully to face his friend.

'Coming back won't either,' came the sharp reply, 'life doesn't work like that... but...' he trailed off and shook his head, unwilling to discuss it anymore.

Ryan didn't push him, instead he turned away, towards the offices. Without another word to anyone he started to walk. Jack and Michael followed quickly without issue. Geoff and Ray however, didn't move from their spots. They watched silently as the three faithful friends left them behind and made for the doors of the building.

'He's right,' Ray said suddenly, 'we can't just keep avoiding it... the office or the subject...'

Geoff turned his head slightly to frown at him, 'Ray...'

Ray turned his whole body towards Geoff, and then he crossed the space between them, grabbing Geoff's shirt and pulling him sharply towards him, 'What's wrong with you? With us? We left, we did the same thing he did, and for what..? An easier life? Ryan and Michael... even Jack... they're still here. Everyone is still here... we're the only ones who left-.'

'Gavin left!' Geoff snapped, shaking Ray off of him, 'Gavin left us!'

'Why?' Ray countered. Geoff faltered. Ray took a deep breath, 'Why did he leave?' Ray looked around as though searching for answers before his eyes returned to Geoff, who slowly shook his head. Ray nodded, 'Right, nobody knows, because he's not here... and until he is... I think he deserves the benefit of the doubt, don't you?'

'What if he never comes back..?' Geoff asked, 'What if that body today is really him..?'

Ray put his hands on Geoff's shoulders, 'We'll cross that bridge when we come to it...' he sighed softly and pulled away, 'for now...' he looked over his shoulder.

Geoff followed his gaze, and saw that the others were waiting for them. Guilt crashed into him like a force nine gale and he made a noise in the back of his throat as he came to realise what he had said, 'Shit... I can't... Ray I can't...'

Ray looked back at him, 'It's okay...' he paused, then, 'wait here.' He moved away from him, running over to the others. Geoff watched as they all gestured with their hands and their heads shook and feet shuffled... and then Ray was coming back. A brisk pace, but not hurried. He wasn't going to hurry him, Geoff realised... he could take his time.

'They've gone ahead,' Ray informed him as he came to stop in front of his ex boss, 'I told them that we were coming but... there's no rush, okay..? You can take as much time as you need...'

Geoff nodded, 'What about you..?' he looked at him, eyes wandering every few seconds as though he was trying to avoid a significant length of eye contact.

Ray mused the words over in his head, silent and contemplative until he found an answer, 'I think I am okay... to go back... I... it all feels a bit silly, what I did... so... so I'm alright... I want to go back.' Geoff watched him closely, with a feeling in the pit of his gut that told him Ray was lying, however well.

* * *

 

It took less time to walk to the doors than it took to walk from the doors to the Achievement Hunter office, mainly because once they'd passed into the main part of the building, they were stopped every few paces by all the staff members that hadn't seen them since last year. Fifteen minutes spent procrastinating in the parking lot turned into thirty minutes as they trawled through the building until eventually they came to the open door of their office. Geoff didn't even falter, passing right over the threshold, walking into the room to congratulations from the others.

Ray found that the doorway offered quite a bit more of a challenge for him and he danced around the feelings for a good few moments before he stepped boldly into the room, sighing as he reached the other side. Almost immediately, the feelings came back and he found himself walking to Gavin's desk (in the same state as the day he'd left), and sliding into the chair. He bowed his head, closed his eyes and balled his hands into fists, pounding them down on the desk, making the others jump.

'Ray?'

Ray was shaking his head, 'It's not him,' he looked up, the screen of Gavin's computer reflecting his face; distraught and tired, 'it can't be him...'

As if performing a previously rehearsed scene, three heads swivelled in the direction of Michael, who was sitting quietly in his own chair, hands clenched around a piece of paper that they realised was one of the missing persons posters. Michael slowly looked up and around at them all.

What did they want him to say...? That he had lied? That he hadn't seen Gavin..? He couldn't do that; he had seen Gavin. Lying in the mud and covered in blood, eyes wide and lifeless. Michael's breath caught. It was a sight that would haunt him for the rest of his life. He looked down to the poster in his hands, at Gavin's crinkled paper face...

Gavin was dead, and yet Michael's entire being was telling him the exact opposite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel this chapter is a bit *BLEH*, so sorry for that.  
> Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed it and I am sorry it took so long.


	14. Headaches and Autopsies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter titles are hard. ):  
> -  
> I broke 100 kudos!!  
> Thank you so much to everyone who left loves. <33  
> -  
> Another chapter already?  
> What's this madness..?

_April 22nd, 1 month and 3 days before the disappearance_

 

_They were recording the first episode of a new Lets Watch series. They were hoping to crank out at least one episode every two days, and they were all pretty excited about the game itself, as they’d been waiting over a year for the release. It was a stand alone game, not a sequel nor a prequel. The first game in the franchise, as it were. Gavin had been thrilled when Geoff had told him that they were going to be doing a video around it. Less thrilled when he found out it was going to be a Lets Watch, and that Ryan would be taking the lead (again). Ryan almost always took the lead, it irked him to know end. Sure, Gavin wasn’t the best at video games, but Geoff knew that Gavin had been desperate to get his hands on this game, so to give the baton to Ryan pissed him off._

_Gavin didn’t know why it pissed him off. Normally he’d have moaned and complained, but all in good fun… he liked watching someone else play the games, honestly… but Geoff’s words sparked something within him and he’d lost it. He'd thrown several unexpected swear words and was inexplicably angry; so angry that he had stormed out of the office and left the building. An hour later had him slinking back to his colleagues with apologetic Irish coffee. Geoff offered him the first episode, but Gavin turned it down, assuring Geoff he didn’t mind Ryan taking the lead, and that he’d had a bad night and wasn’t feeling that good today._

_Geoff had accepted the coffee, naturally, the apology and the fair explanation. The others did too, though they refused the cheeky drink and simply carried on as normal, as thought Gavin hadn’t spouted bad language and lost his temper in such an un-Gavin-like manner._

_Now, sitting with Jack to his right and Ryan even more to his right, Gavin watched the screen as Ryan failed yet again at one of the tasks given to him. Gavin shook his head, ‘Fucking hell Ryan… you’re shit…’_

_‘Let’s see you do better…’ Ryan grouched back, not removing his gaze from the screen, ‘oh wait, you can’t.’_

_Gavin could see the audience now, laughing at Ryan’s jibe. Gavin should have laughed too, should have found it funny. He didn’t. He stood up abruptly, dropping his microphone on the floor as he did so, before storming off, out of the frame of the camera. Jack called to him but Gavin ignored him. He didn’t return for the rest of the video, and Michael took his place after five minutes. They’d cut the video; the magic of editing. The community would be none the wiser._

* * *

 

_February 14th, 3 months and 11 days before the disappearance_

 

_The comments were awash with Mavin. Mavin in AHWU, Mavin in Minecraft. It was everywhere. Of course it would be, it was the anniversary of the two of them meeting and the fans were all over it. Michael didn’t mind so much, it was good fun, Gavin was like, his best friend, and it made for good content… but this time around, Gavin wasn’t having as much fun with the whole thing as he usually would be. He had been avoiding Michael and had yet to tease anywhere online about the whole thing._

_Michael wouldn’t say that he was slightly concerned… but he was concerned. Gavin was almost their number one fan, he was all for supporting the “ship”, all for teasing the community, and Michael himself… but this year, he wasn’t interested. When Michael cornered him just after lunch, Gavin went as far to insult Michael, and “Mavin”, and refused to pander to the wills and urges of the masses._

_Michael didn’t see him again the rest of the day._

* * *

 

_October 28th, 6 months and 4 days before the disappearance_

 

_Gavin wasn’t well again when he came in that morning. He was groggy, and irritable and when Jack asked what was wrong, he brushed him off with a simple headache explanation, only as the day wore on it got worse and Geoff eventually sent him home. The next day he was back to normal._

* * *

 

_September 4th, 7 months and 27 days before the disappearance_

 

_Gavin was supposed to record with Geoff, but he called in sick, claiming to have a headache and nausea. Geoff didn’t mind, he’d ended up with other work to fill the gap and Gavin hardly ever called in sick so it was soon forgotten._

* * *

 

_January, 1 year and 4 months before the disappearance_

 

_Gavin was rubbing his face with his hands as he sat at his desk, trying to edit. His head was hurting, the beginnings of a headache. That was the third in as many days. Typically Gavin never got headaches, and if he did it was usually coupled with something else, like a cold, but he didn’t get those much either… these headaches had been lone aches and had lasted for a day or less before relenting. That might have been easy to deal with, the pain they brought was not. It was like a normal headache when it first started but then it would slowly get worse and then it would dim and flicker and finally end. Gavin would of taken painkillers had he been up to the task, but his mindset with tablets wasn’t that great, and so he toughed it out. He tried to drink plenty of water to compensate, encase they were brought on by dehydration. After several weeks, the headaches became a part of daily life and were so insignificant that Gavin learnt to ignore them._

* * *

 

_Present Day_

 

It was four days later before the call came in on Geoff's phone. They were all in the office; working slowly on new content for the community, a sense of near normality within the room. It was a little before ten in the morning and Geoff might have simply ignored the call had it been from someone else, but he'd nearly broken his controller trying to pick the call up as quickly as possible. Matt and Burnie might have been the bigger bosses, but Geoff had been like a second father to  _him_ and so his family felt it the right way to handle things, to call as soon as they knew the results of the autopsy... Geoff answered calmly, as though he wasn't rising from his chair, panic written over his face and nerves roaring in his ears. The call was short, to the point. Geoff had fallen back into his chair at some point and was covering his mouth with his free hand. The four other men in the room knew that it was a bad sign that Geoff appeared so distressed; to a point the autopsy was nothing but a courtesy. The knew it was him after all, the autopsy was just a how, when and where.

Geoff put his phone down. He took a breath, collected himself, turned in his chair to face the rest of the crew and spoke words that surprised all of them.

'It's not him.' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't know, Irish coffee contains booze. Whiskey booze.  
> -  
> And so we get some very brief insights into small tiny bits of Gavin's life before he walked out and vanished into thin air.  
> -  
> I got sick of looking at this, so if there are any mistakes, please forgive me, I will correct them at a later date.


	15. Origins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been over this several times, but there may still be some mistakes.  
> Please forgive them, and me.

There was an impossibly long pause of silence after Geoff's words; and the impact they had on the occupants of the room was almost as devastating as the words that Michael had spoken not even a week previously. The silence went on until Ray spoke, shattering the smooth pane into a few thousand pieces.  
  
'What do you mean?' his voice was barely more than a whisper, as though he was loathe to question what was apparently good news. He was rightly nervous and his friends understood his trepidation. What if they'd heard wrong? What if the information that Geoff had been given was wrong? What if this was nothing more than a dream brought on by emotions sparked by the body that Michael had identified? Geoff turned in his chair to face Ray, who had long since abandoned his game.  
  
'That was Dan...' Geoff revealed. He'd expected a member of Gavin's family, but the second British twat had been on the other end of the line, 'Gavin's family got a call a while ago. The body that was found last week isn't him.' Silence fell again as the words slowly sunk in, and filtered past emotional firewalls, giving way to the smallest glimpses of hope.  
  
'It's not him..?' Jack repeated; questioning. He turned his body towards Geoff, who shook his head in confirmation, "no".  
  
Ryan's gaze ignored Geoff, shifting instead to Michael. The younger man had yet to face their boss, but his hands had fallen away from his desk to his lap. Ryan couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through his friends mind. After several moments Michael cleared his throat.  
  
'Are they sure?' was he hoping they were incorrect, of that he had been? Ryan couldn't tell.  
  
Geoff turned again, this time towards Michael, 'Yeah, they're sure... The DNA doesn't match, nor the dental records... and the body was identified... it's one hundred percent _not_ _Gavin_.' There was an almost physical shift in the atmosphere of the room, but Michael still appeared troubled. Ryan noticed that he was shaking. Was he angry?  
  
Slowly, the redhead turned to face the room, 'How?' he choked out. Upset, Ryan realised, as Michael continued, 'I _saw_ him. I _saw_ his face...'  
  
Ryan could see the impending meltdown a mile off and acted quickly, standing from his seat and moving towards his colleague, 'It's not unheard of,' he began, coming to stop in front of Michael, 'to misidentify someone... particularly when you're under a great deal of...' he paused, '...stress. You saw a face for a few seconds and...' Ryan trailed off as Michael lifted his head to look up at him.  
  
The anger was clear on the mans face, 'You think I don't know what my best friend looks like? You think I lied--?'  
  
Jack stood so fast that he knocked his chair over, 'He didn't say that!' Michael looked at him, expression dark, but said nothing. Jack continued, 'He's right though...you were extremely distraught. Anyone would've been, and any one of us could've made the same mistake.'  
  
'Mistake?!' Michael snapped, rising sharply from his own chair, rage boiling over, 'Four days ago I saw what I thought was Gavin's dead body! I can't sleep! Every time I close my eyes I see him lying there, **_dead_**! **_Gone_**! And, and now..? Now you're telling me that it wasn't real? That I fucked up!?' Michael looked as though he was keen to cross the gap between him and Jack and sock the man right in the jaw. Thankfully, Ray had the good grace to speak again, interrupting Michael's violent train of thought.  
  
'That's good isn't it?' He asked softly, 'That who you saw wasn't him...' Michael didn't look away from Jack, but he didn't move either.  
  
Geoff answered Ray before Michael had the chance, 'Yes... and no...' Jack shot Geoff a dark look, silently mouthing "What the hell are you doing?!". Geoff brushed him off and continued, 'Gavin's still missing.'  
  
In that moment, Ryan could've turned violent himself, what was Geoff trying to pull? Michael was already close to exploding and Geoff was just taunting him further. To his complete surprise, Jack relented and Michael's gaze fell away to the floor, his stance softening. Ray came in again, ever helpful, and supplied some sobering words, 'Better missing than dead.'  
  
Ryan couldn't help thinking if it really was better. Now they were no closer to answers than when they first realised that Gavin's phone was in use. Had that body belonged to Gavin, they'd have had some semblance of a beginning of closure. Now there was another family out there struggling to understand what had happened to their son, their brother, and a circle of people wondering what had gone through their friends mind in the moments between his departure and his untimely death.  
  
This body wasn't Gavin, but that didn't mean that Gavin wasn't dead. It was a thought that Ryan knew he'd be stuck with for a long time to come. The office was quiet again, the argument over. Geoff and Jack weren't there, and had slipped out of the room unnoticed, perhaps to deliver the news to the rest of RoosterTeeth. Ray was dealing with his computer, headphones replaced, shutting the world out. They weren't going to be able to finish this Let's Play today, the mood was shot to blazes. _Typical Gavin,_ Ryan mused fondly, _causing trouble even when he's not here_. With a lighter heart, Ryan retreated, leaving the room.  
  
As Ryan left, and Michael felt his anger slowly subsiding, he chose that opportunity to slump back down into his chair. He didn't dare look over at Ray, and instead he turned around to face his desk, eager to avoid any further confrontation (now that he could see clearly). He looked down to the crinkled poster. Gavin was staring up at him. Michael reached for the paper, plucking it up and bringing it closer to his face. He stared for a long while, as if Gavin's image would come alive and start talking to him. Would he be helpful, and lead Michael to the real him? Would he piss about and do nothing of any use?  
  
The image remained creased and entirely motionless. Michael sighed and put the poster back on the desk, his eyes never left Gavin's, 'Where are you boi?'

* * *

  
  
_December 10th, 5 months and 13 days before the disappearance_

  
  
_Michael moved his in-game character deftly across the terrain towards cover, talking nothing but nonsense and purely for the recording, up until his character was blown to bits by a surprise explosion as he entered cover. Michael roared, 'Whoa what the fuck was that?! I was in cover you dickless bastard!' He huffed in irritation as the screen flash up his re-spawn timer._  
  
_'Did you die?' Jack called from across the room, his own character passing right in front of Michael's field of vision._  
  
_'Sure did...' Michael replied, glancing to his side. Gavin was reeling in his chair, seemingly at Michael's expense, 'Was that you?!'_  
  
_Gavin's head shook in denial, but he replied the affirmative, 'Sorry boi!'_  
  
_Michael swore colorfully, 'I can't re-spawn for another two minutes!' Gavin apologized again; though he was still laughing._  
  
_'You're fucking retarded,' Geoff spoke up from his spot near Jack, 'it's a mystery how you even passed the first mission.'_  
  
_'He probably paid Ray to do it for him, that man will do anything for a taco.' Jack said, as he threw an explosive at Gavin's character._  
  
_Gavin rolled quite wonderfully out of the way with barely enough time to spare, 'Jack no!'_  
  
_'Don't kill him!' Geoff shouted, 'We've only got one life left!'_  
  
_Jack watched as Gavin's character took the lead and rushed off towards their target, 'Oh no...'_  
  
_'What're you doing!?' Michael shouted, 'You're gonna die; you idiot!'_

 _'Have you got the booty?' Geoff asked, as a timer suddenly appeared on all their screens._  
  
_Gavin cheered, 'Cover me lads!'_

_'Where are you?' Jack asked._

_'I'm gonna make it!' Gavin assured them._  
  
_'He's gonna die.' Geoff muttered, throwing his controller down with a defeated sigh._  
  
_'Nah, c'mon Geoff, believe in Free!' Gavin requested as he expertly dodge a spray of bullets, 'It's gonna take more than that to kill me!'_  
  
_Delightfully on cue, there was a loud squawk from Gavin, quickly followed by cussing and shouting from the rest of the team as their screens cheerfully told them **"Mission Failed - GavinoFree died"**._  
  
_'Uh... so, I died...' Gavin offered quietly._  
  
_'No worries,' Jack grumbled, 'it's only our **fourth** attempt.'_  
  
_Michael placed his controller down with slightly more force than Geoff had and turned to Gavin, 'How many times Gavin!? Don't wander off on your own without telling us what you're doing! How can we back you up if you're fucking AWOL?!'_  
  
_'We're a team!' Gavin defended immediately, 'You're supposed to be there at all times! I shouldn't have to tell you because you should already know!'_  
  
_'Use your fucking mouth and make **words**!' Michael continued._  
  
_'Hey editor,' Geoff started, 'insert the "Technical Difficulties" card here but replace it with "Gavin's a fucking idiot".'_  
  
_Gavin made a series of noises, 'I'm the editor!'_  
  
_Geoff smiled to himself, 'Even better.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please for the love of CockBite forgive the tons of dialogue in the flashback... I didn't want to have it long and wordy when they're meant to be in the middle of a Let's Play recording... Subject to future changes, if I so feel like it... ):  
> -  
> So it's the 25th of May today... Feeling stupidly nervous, as though this really is the anniversary of Gavin's vanishing act... Let's hope the 28th and 29th don't bring bad news...  
> -  
> This chapter is called "Origins" as it's where we first hear the phrase that is the story title. It will come into play again at a later date.  
> -  
> The next chapter may be somewhat delayed, as I have yet to begin writing it...  
> Give me a couple of weeks, maximum. With any luck it'll be done before that time is up.


	16. Cheeky Bastard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED: See End Notes
> 
> I am so sorry at how long this update has taken...  
> It's a slightly shorter chapter, I am super sorry...  
> I've been having major writers block and it's still not entirely resolved.  
> )':

It was, without a doubt, one of the worst ideas that Matt had ever had the indecency to provide them with. He had been of the unparalleled opinion that the five remaining Hunters would be far better off spending the day at home. With little company save for their own dark thoughts swirling about them like a storm cloud. Michael had been that least excited about the idea, wishing to remain within the relative “safety” of the office environment. He felt as thought he placed was there, not moping around at home, mind conjuring all manner of dark and detailed images. When Geoff had made a fuss, Michael had been nonplussed. At that point, Geoff had called on Mama Bear. Michael could hold out against Geoff, but when Jack’s voice broke ever so slightly during his foray, he had relented.

Ray had been content to stay or go, depending on who had won the fight, suggesting he might stream if he did get to leave, and that they should make an appearance. (For morales sake if nothing else.) As is happened, it worked out rather favourably for him and he drifted home, where he found a small sliver of relaxation within his own four walls. That is, until hindsight kicked in and he sat at home, alone, watching the computer on the other side of the room from his spot on the sofa, realising that it had probably an insanely terrible idea to suggest a stream, even for morale. Gavin was still lost to them. Ray sweat nervously as his mind offered him cheerful comments on how they were liking assuming that he didn’t give two shits, when it was the complete opposite. As his computer mocked him from afar, the idea of streaming soon fizzled out and he was left cold and damp, turning instead to a far below par movie on Netflix.

* * *

It was two in the morning on the 6th of May when Geoff was picking up the phone and dialling Jack’s number, desperate to hear another voice in his ear, having grown tired of Gavin, who had been blabbering continuously in the back of his head for the last six hours. Curiously, Jack answered quickly, and after a moment Geoff realised that the man had been awake too. Even so, Geoff found himself apologising; to which Jack replied with stoic confirmation of his own insomnia, though he gave no explanation as to what was the problem. Geoff swiftly fell headfirst into an entirely one-sided conversation, with no clear topic whatsoever. Jack must’ve thought him mad, but he remained silent, allowing Geoff the much needed opportunity to vent.

An hour of breathless rants and panic stricken monologues later and Geoff finally stopped talking. Jack had a change to get a few words in, and offered to drive over and stay with his obviously distraught friend. The relief Geoff felt was phenomenal, and he spent the next hour pacing nervously around the living room. When as last there was a quiet tapping on the door, Geoff strode over to see what had taken his friend so long to arrive, pulling the door open. Jack stood in the middle, right at the front, his hand still raised, poised to knock again. Next to the bearded man, on Geoff’s left, was Ryan. Behind the two of them, Michael and Ray. They all looked as bad as Geoff imagined he looked.

As Geoff stepped back to allow them entry, Jack stepped over the threshold and held up a six pack of beer. Geoff noticed rather forlornly that there was a can missing. He turned away from his friends and away into the house.

‘How about a cup of coffee..?’ Ryan suggested instead, coming to Geoff’s aid. Jack seemed to realise that he had made an error, though what he had no idea, and put the pack of beer down on the floor. As the other three entered the house behind Jack, they threw their coats down on top of the cans, hiding them from view.

By the time they were all sat in the living room with a drink of some fashion, it was just after ten past four in the morning and all five of them were involved in nonsensical topics of conversation that none of them really had an interest in, all the while, Netflix played to itself in the background.

* * *

The rest of the night (or morning) passed in an extremely similar manner until Michael and Ray dropped off to sleep, and Ryan excused himself and left the house entirely. Both Geoff and Jack denied asking him where he was going and instead allowed the random foreign drama on the TV to lull them gently. Was it Korean? Japanese? Geoff’s mind was dim and his vision blurred as his sense dulled and sleep finally defended. His head lolled sideways onto Jack’s shoulder.

Jack himself did not sleep as he did not feel tired, and as such he was comfortable in allowing Geoff the peace and quiet he had been after. Time passed slowly, Netflix droned on and on and then the sun was rising and Ryan was back, moving stealthily across the lounge. Jack mused that he should avoid asking any questions. Ryan eyed the scene that he had come back to. Michael and Ray, side by side, fast asleep, in what Ryan assumed were two of the most uncomfortable positions to ever fall asleep in; and Geoff. Geoff who was leaning into Jack, who looked sleepy, eyes half open, but who was also looking up at him.

Ryan saw the questions lying faintly veiled underneath the quiet gaze. Jack wouldn’t ask, Ryan was thankful for that… and then he turned away when he realised that Gavin would. He’d be all over it like a rabid Bloodhound, the cheeky English bastard.

None of them were seen at work the next day.

* * *

 

_1st June, the year of the disappearance_

 

 _It was June already; and while June wasn’t exactly that far from May (being the month immediately afterwards), it felt like it had been years since Friday the 25th of May. In truth it had only been one week. One whole week. Seven long days since Gavin was taken. Taken being the operative word, as there was no way Gavin would have left of his own accord. Ray was sitting in the Achievement Hunter office, as his desk, scrolling through Twitter, trying to not think about how the police were making a fair few appearance around the office, with the intention of going through the CCTV footage from the day it happened. It was working, mostly, and he continued through the_ _mile long tag of the one and only #GavinFree._

_The majority of the tweets were worth looking at, supportive and kind, wishing everyone at RoosterTeeth well and hoping for Gavin’s quick return. The other one percent were more dire and frequently made Ray feel sick and angry. He moved past them as quickly as he could. The tag seemed to grow with each hour and so there were always new Tweets to see. One in particular caught his attention. It had a gif attached to it. It was of a first person shooter game that the Hunters had played well over a year ago now, but it wasn’t the moving background that made him pause; it was the white words captioned on the bottom of it._

                                                       

_Ray was struck for several moments as he read the words that accompanied the looping image. He didn’t know the original poster, but he could sure as heck agree with them. He quickly hit “Retweet”. If Gavin could believe in Gavin, then so could everybody else._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to those of you who spot the reference.  
> Anyway. With luck I will find my muse once more (and soon I hope), and you'll get a new chapter...  
> EDIT: Mentioned the CCTV footage from Chapter 12 because I totally forgot to do that. Also changed the morning of the 9th of May to the 6th of May because WHAT ARE DATES AND OH GOD HELP.


	17. Metaphorical Game Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extremely short chapter. Like 511 words.  
> It's a little bit of a filler, because what I want to do next doesn't really fit in the same chapter... so... Yeah.  
> Sorry. ^^'

_1st April, 1 year, 1 month and 25 days before the disappearance_

 

_Gavin was hovering. Like, not casually loitering around the general area, but literally (metaphorically speaking) hovering; right next to Michael. The red-head had tried to ignore the Britons presence for some time now, instead forcing himself to watch his computer screen as though his very life depended on it. However, it had been so long (a few minutes, tops), that Gavin had begun to fidget and he was continuing to fidget, slowly making sure that the others in the room were becoming just as irked as Michael was._

_‘What?’ Michael demanded sharply, turning his head up to look at Gavin._

_Gavin glanced around the office nervously, ‘Can I talk to you… privately..?’ His was was just barely audible to Michael, and he hurried to leave the room before Michael could answer. Despite the annoyance that remained after Gavin’s departure, Michael was immediately curious and got up to follow after his friend. Out in the hallway, Gavin was standing away from the Hunter’s office, gaze downcast. Michael walked over to him, concern replacing curiosity._

_‘Are you okay boi?’_

_Gavin made sure to look around again and Michael followed suit, but there were no other employees around. Gavin, finally content with their solitude, spoke, ‘I can’t do tonight.’_

_Was that it? Michael wondered, ‘Okay…’ he shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, ‘What’s up?’_

_Gavin waved a dismissive hand, ‘I just have this crazy headache, it’s been buggering me all day and I’m just not up for game night…’_

_Michael frowned, concern creeping back in, ‘Another headache?’_

_‘I guess I’m not getting enough fluids in me… too much coffee and not enough water…’ Gavin replied with a carefree shrug._

_‘Do I need to keep tabs on you now? Make sure you’re taking proper care of yourself?’ Michael asked him, ‘That’s the second game night you’ve missed in the past month.’_

_‘No,’ Gavin began, ‘no I’ll make sure to start taking better care of myself…’_

_‘If you’re sure…’ Michael muttered, looking up and noticing Barbara trailing past them._

_Gavin fell quiet and turned his head, watching her leave before turning back to Michael, ‘Thanks Michael, I really appreciate how understanding you’re being.’_

_‘Hey, you’re my boi,’ Michael replied with a smile, ‘and we can have game night another time.’_

_‘Game night without me?’ the two of them had neglected to notice that Geoff had left the office and was standing off to their side. Michael and Gavin both looked over to him and wondered silently just how long he had been standing there._

_‘Sorry Geoff.’ Michael said with a grin plastered on his face._

_‘Geoff, is it okay if I go home early?’ Gavin piped up._

_‘Are you finished with editing?’ Geoff asked, coming over to stand with them rather than remaining loitering eerily like Gavin a few paces away._

_Gavin shook his head and laughed, ‘Not even close… but I’ll come in early tomorrow and finish up before you get in.’_

_‘Alrighty then, I’ll see you tomorrow. Get some rest, can’t be doing with you going home early every day.’ Geoff answered._

_So he’d heard then… Gavin looked away from Geoff as though having a headache was a crime punishable by death, ‘I’ll, uh… just get my phone…’ he moved away from Michael and brushed past his boss, heading back into the office. Michael and Geoff followed quickly after him._

* * *

_True to his word, Gavin was in the office long before any of his Hunter co-workers, and the editing was all done by the time Geoff appeared through the door with coffee and bagels._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to anyone who spots the happy accidental reference/easter egg. Was chuckling nicely when I realised what I'd done. :D  
> -  
> Totally teasing it with that chapter title.


	18. (un)Conventional Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in two days?  
> What is going on?  
> Call the police.  
> Arrest me.

May 23rd, the year after the disappearance

 

It was everywhere. You couldn’t go to a single social media site or bog-standard media sharing site without seeing it. It was like malware, a virus spreading ever so rapidly across the entirety of the internet. Twitter, Facebook… Tumblr was having a god damn field day. The damage was already done, and yet Michael still went about taking the video down, and tweeting an apology (though Geoff assured him it wasn’t needed). Michael had disagreed; he’d made a fool of himself and he wanted to wipe the last 24 hours and forget it had ever happened. He did not want to go back and try it again, living it once was bad enough.

The rest of the employees that Michael had seen throughout the rest of the morning had tried their very best to avoid his gaze, keen to avoid an altercation. He doubted that they’d even seen it from the original source, but seen it they had. Damn his drunken antics, and damn Gavin for giving him feelings. What an asshole.

* * *

It was painful to watch, Ryan wasn’t going to lie to himself and say otherwise. The worst part wasn’t even that it was recorded and uploaded on Gavin’s birthday. The worst part was that it was Michael. Michael being drunk, upset and angry. And even then, upon thinking about it for some time, Ryan came to realise that that still wasn’t the worst part.

The worst part was that Ryan could relate to the fifty second long video. Ryan could relate to the drinking, and he could relate to the tears… and though it sickened him to the core, he could relate to the anger he felt towards Gavin. He shouldn’t; he knew that. He should not feel angry towards his friend, but it was infuriating to think, even for a moment, that the police were right. That Gavin left. He was certain that each of the Hunter’s (and other members of the company) had felt somewhat similar to Michael’s video within the last year.

Ryan honestly felt for Michael that morning. He himself saw the video completely by accident after it’d popped up in the “suggested for you” box on YouTube. Upon asking around, it became clear that Geoff and Ray had already seen it and that Matt was already composing a statement to calm the masses. He asked for respect; though he knew that the community would give it without hesitation. Ryan knew that the fans would be courteous, and would not spread or re-upload the video past that point, but it was too late. Ryan would never be able to forget Michael's stumbling words.

**"Gavin please come home"**

* * *

 

_3rd July, 5 weeks and 4 days since the disappearance_

_**" RTX. ** **Sorry - need your decision.”**_

_Geoff had been glaring at the post-it note for the past fifteen minutes. It was in Burnie's handwriting, but Geoff guessed that the note had originally come from Matt. Geoff had outright been trying to avoid thinking about it, hoping foolishly that it would go away._ _He wanted to cancel, refuse attending, but... He had a feeling that it wouldn't be what Gavin would want. RTX was a big event and super important in Rooster Teeth’s calendar. The host could hardly pull out... Or could they?_

_'Hey, you okay? You've been staring into space for like twenty minutes.'_

_Geoff started, unaware that anyone else had been in the room with him. He turned his head and looked around to Ryan, 'I'm fine... It's just... Burnie left a note. About RTX...'_

_Ryan's face barely showed a flicker of emotion as he manoeuvred into the empty chair next to Geoff, 'Ah... I almost forgot... Are you pulling out? Are they cancelling?'_

_Geoff shrugged, sighing and leaning back in his own chair, 'No idea about a cancellation. I doubt it... Gavin wouldn't want them to anyway.'_

_Ryan smiled fondly, 'I don't think we should either.'_

_'It feels like we're cheating.' Geoff said, clasping his hands together in his lap and frowning deeply, lines creasing across his forehead._

_'On Gavin?' Ryan queried._

_'Yeah...' Geoff replied with a nod, 'like if we stop for one day and try and enjoy ourselves... how **dare** we... Gavin's somewhere out there and we are thinking about RT- **fucking** -X.'_

_Ryan sat up straight, 'Despite the situation... nobody wants to let anyone down, least of all the community. The event has been planned since last June. We still have a few days, all we can do is wait and see what happens.'_

_'What like Gavin turning up before the 5th?' Geoff scoffed, 'We're not that lucky.'_

_Ryan have him a sympathetic look, 'Let's cross the RTX bridge when we come to it. No sooner no later. Gavin might surprise you.'_

_Geoff huffed and replied after a moment of quite thought, 'I don't think they will cancel. They've got too much riding on this years con…’_

_'I'm sure they would understand; if it were to be cancelled...' Ryan muttered, 'I'm sure that the community would understand too, if you pulled out.'_

_'If I go we all go...' Geoff grouched out, determined that he would take them all with him if he didn't attend._

_Ryan sighed, 'I understand where you're coming from Geoff, but… I want to go... and, like you said; Gavin wouldn't want us to ditch it.'_

_'It's only been like a month... How can we just keep RTX on like nothing has happened?' Geoff sighed._

_Ryan rolled his chair a little closer to Geoff, 'We can't. Nobody is saying that it won't be weird or that it won't be painful but... RTX is a huge deal, and Gavin will be there with us in-...' He cut himself off from saying "spirit" and instead finished with, '...thought. Trust me Geoff, if it was something other than RTX, I wouldn't be interested.'_

_Geoff looked at him closely, scrutinising every inch of the mans face. He eventually saw the honest look Ryan was showing and sighed, 'You're right... Of course you fucking are...' he shook his head in disbelief._

_'It'll be good for us...' Ryan assured him, 'don't forget to call Burnie and let him know.' Ryan offered a smile as he stood up and left Geoff to his own devices._

_Geoff watched Ryan go before he turned back to the post-it note, '_ _Happy?'_

_The voice in his head gave its affirmation, ‘Tipity top.'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm getting excited. *sly grin*


	19. Pizzambulance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I say anything else;; please excuse any errors of any kind. I was in a bit of a mad rush to get this chapter up before the maintenance, and I also kinda got sick of looking at it... (Seriously, this chapter (and the first part of the next one) have been written for months. I was anxious to get it out to you guys...)  
> -  
> We are kind of getting near(ish) to the end of this story.  
> There is still more to come but I doubt it will make another 10 chapters...  
> Then again, in the first chapter I was all "this won't be a very long story, a couple of chapters"  
> That worked out well for me...  
> -  
> I COULD NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME COME UP WITH A CHAPTER TITLE BETTER THAN THIS.  
> I am sorry. I have failed you all.

6th July, the year after the disappearance

It had been a successful first day of RTX, nothing went wrong, the community was in good spirits and the majority of the Rooster Teeth employee pool had been seen at least twice. Despite that, emotions were still running high and things were still a touch odd, what with Gavin still be AWOL. Geoff and Ryan had long since left the Austin convention centre and had taken to the streets, walking side by side, enjoying the others quiet company and the slightly cooler air of the night. Ryan had been concerned a few days ago when he realised that technically speaking, Geoff was no longer employed at Rooster Teeth. To everyones surprise, he had come through like an absolute champion, and agreed to show his face as least once (which he did). 

'I've got places to be...' Geoff grouched out, 'things to do... but I have to go to RTX instead and... pretend I'm okay...'

Ryan glanced over at him, 'What things? Like go and see your wife, and your daughter?'

'I've seen them!' Geoff replied hotly.

'Once! Since May!' Ryan shot back.

Geoff stopped walking and whirled around to face Ryan, grabbing his jacket and yanking him right up close to his face, 'Shut up!'

'You can't avoid them forever,' Ryan told him, lifting his hands in surrender, 'Griffon loves you, she'll understand... they both will...'

Geoff made a move that had Ryan thinking he was going to end up with a broken nose; but instead of lashing out, Geoff only shoved him backwards, forcing him away. Geoff turned away, and took off in a huff. Almost immediately he walked into another person, sending the two of them stumbling in opposite directions. Had Ryan not been here, Geoff would've hit the ground, instead Ryan steadied his friend and the two of them took in the person Geoff had walked into. It was obvious right off the bat that the man was homeless (That, or he enjoyed being covered in dirt and decorated in plastic shopping bags). Ryan clicked his fingers at him, recognising him as a man that had been seen around the main driveway of the office. 

'You!' Ryan gestured again, watching him, making sure that he wasn't seeing things. The man had been seen by multiple people near to the office and nearby the coffee shop that the many of the Rooster Teeth employees frequented. Often he was seen with two or three others. Ryan had no qualms with the homeless, save the irritation of the government not being at all helpful in taking care of them, but this man in particular was pretty much everywhere they went, 'Are you following us?'

The man eyed them with confusion and shook his head, 'No I don't think so... why?' Before Ryan or Geoff could get out a response, the man was speaking again, 'Look, as you're here, could you help me out? My friend isn't doing too well... he's been sick for a while and... ah, what's the point'a telling you? Gotta phone?' There was a strange lilt in his American accent that sounded wrong in some way.

Geoff scoffed, 'No... what'd'you want a phone for?'

'Order pizza.' the man replied, gesturing wildly in front of him, 'For an ambulance, you old prick.'

Geoff made to move past him but Ryan grasped his arm, shot him a dark look and turned to the man, face softening, 'Where's your friend? Show us..?'

The man gave him a wary look, eyes drifting from boot to brow, 'You a doctor?'

Ryan shook his head, 'I have a phone.' he waggled his eyebrows a little, as though that might make all six foot of him seem less threatening. It did, and the gentleman allowed a few moments to pass before he relented.

'He's down here, he's been really crappy for a few days now...' he hurried off and Ryan followed after him. Geoff hung back, uninterested in the plight of a homeless man when he friend was still... when Gavin was... Geoff sighed and looked around. The alleyway in which Ryan had disappeared down was dark and undeniably terrifying to look at. Chills crawled deftly up his spine and he felt strangely nervous. The street around him was bustling, but in that moment, Geoff was deaf to his surroundings. A few minutes later and Geoff's deafness was cut short when he heard a muted shout go up; Ryan. With some (much) trepidation, Geoff strode headlong into the unknown... And then he was in the alley, and it wasn't dark or scary. Just damp and dingy. Some way down on the left hand side of the way, there was a figure and Geoff started towards them. As he came closer, he saw that it was Ryan, closest to him, hunched over what Geoff guessed was another person. 

'Where's the guy?' Geoff asked as he came to a stop beside Ryan.

'This  _is_ the guy... He just keeled over...' Ryan said in reply, 'His friend's over there, Sean... he's alive...' True enough, on the opposite wall was another figure, sitting upright and looking over at Ryan and Geoff with some cautious optimism. 

Geoff moved around the fallen man and knelt on his other side. He eyed the long scraggly beard, the matted hair and the assortment of plastic shopping bags covering his outfit, 'He looks worse up close...' He paused, 'is _he_ alive?'

Ryan reached out to the man with his hands and fumbled around his neck for a pulse, 'Yes, for the time being...' He pulled out his phone from his pocket, 'I'll call for an ambulance, see if you can wake him up.'

'Why?' Geoff asked with a confused frown, 'Ryan we've got stuff--,'

Ryan cut him off sharply, 'Because if he's awake, he's not dead.' Ryan finished dialling on the keypad of his phone and held it up to his ear.

Geoff grumbled under his breath and brought his attention to the man on the ground. He reached out towards his face, patting his hair covered cheek. Geoff might have considered the beard impressive had it not been on a homeless man. When the patting failed to rouse him, Geoff took his entire face in hand and lifted his head, calling to him. As Ryan continued on the phone, Geoff found himself looking over the mans face more closely.

'Ryan...' He started.

Ryan waved him off, 'Yes, that's right. Two men. No we don't know them...'

'...Ryan..?' Geoff continued, holding the mans face gently in his grip.

Ryan turned from the conversation he was holding with the emergency operator and frowned at Geoff, ' _ **What?!**_ '

Geoff found it a struggle to get the words out and as Ryan's attention began to waver, Geoff just about shouted his next words, voice leaping up an octave as he proclaimed, 'It's Gavin!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you see that coming? Yes? Oh darnation. 
> 
> Did you catch the other reference? No? Okay... ;_;
> 
> This is the part where I tell you I'm not going to have another chapter up for a couple of weeks right...? No..? Oh...
> 
> -  
> Holy cow it's Gavin!  
> Or is it?


	20. Julius Caesar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a crisis of faith recently regarding my decision to write RPF... but hopefully it's well out of my system by now...  
> This chapter has been rewritten multiple times and I cannot do so again, so if it sucks, my bad.  
> I both love and hate it...  
> Sorry for the wait, and enjoy! (hopefully)...

**_Previously;;_ **

_Geoff found it a struggle to get the words out and as Ryan's attention began to waver, Geoff just about shouted his next words, voice leaping up an octave as he proclaimed, 'It's Gavin!'_

* * *

 

 

After Geoff’s sound exclamation, Ryan was struck into a dumb silence. The person on the phone whom he’d been talking to, continued to ramble to themselves, seemingly in no need of Ryan’s input. As the two men knelt in an inch of god only knows what, Ryan finally found himself able to do more that stare at Geoff and he croaked out a confused sentence, ‘…what..? What do you mean you think it’s Gavin? This isn’t the time for jokes.’

Geoff shook his head, ‘No, no. I don’t think, I **know** ,’ he turned the mans head in his grip slightly towards Ryan, ‘he’s covered in all kinds of shit and needs a haircut, but… it’s him… it’s Gavin…’

Ryan slowly turned his stare to the man between them. Beneath all of the ragged, unkempt hair and clothing, Ryan wasn’t at all surprised that he couldn’t tell who he was looking at… and then, after a second, it hit him square in the jaw. Dead centre of the mans face, and wonky at the end, was the largest nose Ryan had ever seen. Ryan would know it anywhere.

Before he could catch himself, he’d taken a lung full of air and cursed unceremoniously down the receiver of the cell phone. He fumbled and began to apologise to the person on the line, ‘Sorry! I-I’m sorry!’ Even then, Ryan somehow managed to continue the previous conversation; starting to explain just what was going on to the emergency operator. In the meantime, Geoff took a breath. Then he took a few seconds on top of that; precious seconds to revel in the fact that the day had come. Gavin was here, right now. He was in front of him; he was breathing, he was alive. He was a solid form that Geoff could reach out and touch; not a ghostly figure haunting his frequent nightmares nor a voice in his head during waking hours, pointing fingers and pinning blame. 

Ryan was suddenly loud in Geoff’s ears, barking orders to the other homeless man - Sean - as Geoff continued to kneel in stunned silence for a good minute or five. Eventually, as Ryan darted around the area, Geoff found his voice and started to speak to Gavin in an attempt to wake him up. He shook him gently, patted and pinched his cheek. Nothing; he was out cold. At that point, the worry started to rear up again. What was wrong with him? Why had he collapsed and why wasn’t he waking up? Lost as for what to do, Geoff glanced up. Ryan was gone. Geoff looked around; Sean was gone too. Imagining Ryan had gone for help, Geoff focused back on his lost companion. 

‘Gavin..? If you can hear me, please open your eyes…’ despite the fact that Geoff was just about begging, Gavin remained stubbornly unconscious. Geoff looked up and around again; searching for Ryan, but he was nowhere to be seen. With nothing else left to do save wait, Geoff turned back to Gavin and his breath caught in his throat upon realising that the young mans eyes were open, ‘Gavin!’

Gavin’s face contorted in pain, ‘…wh—..?’

‘Don’t try to speak; it’s okay, you’re okay… Ryan’s called an ambulance…’ Geoff told him, patting Gavin’s arm softly, almost awkwardly.

Gavin blinked owlishly at Geoff through long brown bangs, ‘…who are you..?’

It was like watching Looney Tunes. Gavin was the Roadrunner, Geoff was the Coyote. The anvil hurt as it crushed Geoff and buried him six feet under, ‘…it’s me… it’s… it’s Geoff…’ Gavin’s eyebrows furrowed in concentration; his eyes fell away from Geoff’s face. Geoff swallowed the lump in his throat, ‘…you don’t… you don’t know…’ he trailed off. Gavin was found but now a new problem rose it’s ugly head and Geoff wanted to curse the luck he’d been dealt. 

‘…Geoff… is it..?’ Gavin asked, gaze remaining downcast.

A flicker of hope made Geoff nod eagerly (though Gavin wasn’t looking), ‘Yes! Yes it’s me!’ He wasn’t sure in the few moments after the exchange if Gavin actually knew who Geoff was or if he was just making certain that he didn’t get a some random strangers name wrong.

Several beats later and Gavin’s face relaxed and he sighed, ‘Geoff…’ suddenly the name became a mantra, and Gavin started to repeat it, his voice low. Even when Ryan finally returned with three paramedics in toe, Gavin continued to say Geoff’s name. The man in question couldn’t fathom if he should feel elated or concerned… perhaps a mixture of the two…

‘It’s our friend,’ Ryan’s voice rose above Gavin’s, ‘he’s been missing since last year…’

Geoff felt hands at his back, trying to pull him away. He almost let them until Gavin’s continuing mantra faltered and he fell to one side. Suddenly he was shaking violently and panic struck Geoff, ‘What’s happening?!’ The hands returned, and Ryan pulled Geoff up and away.

As the paramedics swarmed, Geoff repeated his desperate query, ‘What’s happening?!’

Ever helpful, Ryan provided an answer, ‘I think he’s having a seizure…’ Geoff tried to go to his friends aid, but Ryan’s grip was firm, ‘let the paramedics do their job.’ Ryan’s casual suggestion was more of a command and Geoff couldn’t help but obey. Geoff was sure a few hours had passed by the time the commotion had calmed, but it must’ve have been mere seconds. Gavin was now lying flat on the ground in the alleyway, the EMT’s were hovering above him.

‘What’s happening?’ Geoff asked again, ‘Why isn’t he moving?’ The mute “is he dead” hung obnoxiously in the air next to them. One of the EMT’s stood up and turned to face the two friends, walking over and ushering them away three paces.

‘Your friend’s just experienced a seizure, but he’s alive and breathing on his own…’ they started to talk, and the information drained into Geoff’s ears but his brain did not absorb it, ‘…-ptic, of course at this point I can’t say for sure… he’ll have to undergo tests once we get him to a hospital… you mentioned that he’s been missing up until this point?’

Ryan nodded, ‘Since last May…’

‘Alright,’ the paramedic replied, ‘we’ll contact the police and inform them of the situation; they’ll likely want to talk to you, your friend and certainly the other gentleman who you mentioned on the phone…’ Ryan nodded but gave no verbal response. The EMT continued, ‘Does your friend have medical insurance? What’s his name again? How old is he?’ The question blurred together and Ryan had no answers to give but the EMT replied and was talking again… Geoff must’ve come to his senses and offered up the information, and before they knew it, Geoff had swiftly been coaxed into an ambulance alongside Gavin; Ryan had promised to call the others and inform them of what was going on, before then heading to the hospital under his own steam, and Sean had received his very own ambulance; though he'd shot down the chance of a trip to the hospital, claiming he “hated them places”.

* * *

As the doors of the ambulance were shut, Geoff took in the sight of Ryan, standing on the sidewalk. He looked lost, confused, and overwhelmingly relieved. Never in all the years they’d known each other, had Geoff ever seen Ryan look quite like that. The image stuck with him even as the ambulance pulled away and began the most stressful and intense fifteen minute drive Geoff had ever experienced. It played out like a movie on a screen, he felt detached somehow… and as the vehicle streamed through the nighttime traffic of Austin, Gavin fought silently, battling whatever it was that ailed him. He did not die on the way to the hospital, and he did not have another seizure… but he didn’t wake up either, and that alone told a story Geoff did not wish to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to those of you who spot the "puns" and "references"....


	21. Next of Kin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALL ERRORS ARE MY FAULT. TnT  
> I lost half of this chapter.  
> I have no idea where it went, or how it left, but it bloody went, that bastard...  
> So, I had to re-write it from scratch and holy mother of pearl, I did NOT want to do that.  
> So I didn't, until today...

It was infuriatingly quiet, and for a hospital that was quite the feat; even if you were sitting in a relatively private side room away from the main waiting area. It had been nearing forty five minutes now since Ryan had arrived at the hospital with three stunned and concerned friends in his wake. On arrival, Geoff had already been available to them, resigned to a waiting game, which they now continued to play. With no information past "he's alive as of when we found him", the entire group were more than just a little anxious. 

Jack had had to forcibly evict Michael at one point after he'd lost his temper with a passing nurse. After that, Ray had gone so far as to loudly demand some answers to which he was denied. It was only now as they paced in the quiet "family" room, that Jack queried whether anyone had thought to call Gavin's family.

'I called Dan,' Ryan started, 'after I called you... He said he'd call Gavin's parents in the morning...' It would have been 3am in England after all at the time... Ryan had been surprised Dan had even been awake. 

Jack nodded, satisfied with the answer, 'What about Burnie? Matt? Gus?'

Ryan turned to his friend from his position on the carpeted floor. He had been pacing almost non-stop, '...I thought...' He trailed off, '...no...' He sighed, pulling out his phone and leaving the room. 

Jack watched him go and then sighed, 'This is bloody ridiculous, what's taking so long..?'

Michael felt just as frustrated, 'Fuck knows, but I swear the next person to smile sympathetically at me is gonna get my fist in their god damn face.'

'Violence isn't the answer...' Ray spoke up, turning his attention to Michael, 'however I'm willing to make an exception in this case.' he turned then to Geoff, who was slumped in the corner, head bowed to the ground. Ryan hadn't really gone into details over the phone, and they'd spent so much time trying to get information out of the hospital staff that Ryan and Geoff hadn't had the chance to explain what had happened. Ray took the opportunity now, shifting in his spot next to Jack and clearing his throat just as Ryan re-entered the room.

Jack must've been thinking the same, and he spoke before Ray could get the words out, ‘What exactly happened..?' The question wasn’t directed at either of them in particular, but almost immediately, Ryan began to pace, and after a moment or two more he answered, 'I can't... it's... all a bit...' he shook his head and stopped pacing, turning to Geoff for help. After a beat, Geoff looked up, took in Ryan's face (a silent plea for help) and cleared his throat before speaking.

'A man, came up to us on the street, not even a block from the convention centre, and he asked for a phone, to call for help for his friend... we ended up following him into the alley and then we realised that the man was Gavin-,'

Michael cut him off, 'What? What do you mean to realised it was Gavin? How did you not recognise him? It's only been a year Geoff, surely you've not fucking forgotten what he looks like!'

'Michael!' Jack snapped, shooting the red head a dark look.

'He looks different,' Geoff continued quickly, 'I didn't see it at first... I wanted to go, I had stuff to do... I didn't want to help... but Ryan... Ryan helped and...'

Ryan slowly moved across the room to Geoff and placed a hand on his shoulder, 'I didn't know who it was at first either,' he turned to Michael, 'his hair is long and matted... he has a bigger beard than Jack... we…’ he paused, swallowing thickly, ‘…we've been walking past him for months... without realising it...'

Jack frowned, '...what..?'

'I recognised him... before I realised it was Gavin, I... I had seen him before, around our coffee shop, and by the driveway up to the office...' Ryan was shaking his head, '...I've been seeing Gavin for months and I had no idea--...' he stopped talking and took a breath, trying to compose himself, 'Gavin has been at the office, at the coffee shop, he's been all over the place, and I've been so blind to everything around me that I couldn't see that he was right there all along... how did I not see him..? How could I not see my friend..?'

A long silence settled over the room. None of them could answer him, none of them could even get their heads around the fact that Ryan had been walking past their missing friend for months without noticing him. No, not just Ryan... all of them... that day in May, when that body had been found in the park... had Gavin been there? Had he been watching them? Laughing? Once more the curious notion of Gavin leaving by his own will reared it's ugly head...

'I think he's sick...' Geoff spoke up, breaking the silence, saving Ryan, allowing him to shrink back down into a chair next to Geoff. The other three friends all turned their attention rapidly to their chief, silently questioning. After a moment he spoke, 'after we found him, he collapsed and had a seizure... the paramedics asked if he was epileptic... honestly it was all a bit of a blur...'

‘Gavin’s not epileptic,’ Jack spoke softly, the concern for the Briton clear in his tone, ‘we’d know, he would’ve told us.’

Michael glared darkly at the floor, ‘I guess we don’t know Gavin as well as we thought we did…’ None of his companions found themselves able to berate him. The last flickers of hope were starting to fade, even now that he was found… there seemed to be more questions than answers, answers that they would have to continue to wait for.

* * *

It was around two in the morning when they finally came to the realisation that they would be waiting until at least the mortal hours of the morning. Geoff took it upon himself to send everybody home, offering valiantly to remain at the hospital and wait for any kind of word. Michael had refused point blank to even leave for a breath of fresh air, determined to be as stubborn as Geoff was being. And so they both remained, bidding farewell to Jack, Ryan and Ray as they trickled out of the room and disappeared, rejoining the outside world as though nothing had happened. During the next few hours, Michael had succumbed to his exhaustion and Geoff had been unable to even invite a yawn. He was unable to close his eyes and think of a peaceful slumber all the time Gavin was... unavailable. Naturally there was only one thing to do, worry. Worry about Gavin, about Griffon and Milly. Worry about Michael, the rest of the employee pool at RoosterTeeth. Worry about the community, about RTX. 

Worrying had become second nature ever since last May. Geoff had never wanted to take on quite the frantic parent role with Gavin but alas, there he sat, knee bouncing  up and down as he started blankly at a poster on the wall. It spoke of grief counselling, how to deal with loss; with death. Geoff made a mental note to complain about it to some important motherfucker after this was all over. It really wasn't what he wanted to see when in the current situation. The hours ticked on and Geoff still did not sleep. He only dozed, eyes half closed, half open, waiting on any movement at the door or by the windows.

When the clock ticked over to eight-thirty in the morning, Geoff barely noticed until the door swung open. He was wide awake and stumbling upright in a matter of seconds. He was disappointed when he noticed that it was Jack who stood in the frame. The man looked as though his trip home had done little good, and offered Geoff a slight smile, 'You look like shit.'

Geoff brought his hands to his face, running them deftly over his skin and the stubble on his chin, 'Thanks.'

'Did you get any sleep?' Jack queried, stepping fully into the room and letting the door shut behind him. He noticed Michael, now lying on his side across three chairs.

Geoff stretched his arms out above his head, 'Not a wink... you?'

Jack shook his head, 'A couple of hours as best... I spent an hour watching Ray's stream...' 

Geoff sank down into his chair with a sigh, 'He streamed... why..?' 

'He was supposed to, he'd tweeted it out a few days ago; cancelling would've raised concerns of one sort or another...' Jack informed him, shrugging off his jacket and lying it down on an empty chair across the room, 'He asked me first; I told him to go ahead with it. Don't be mad, I didn't want to disturb you...' Jack paused and laughed, '...I guess that was a moot point...'

'I guess so...' Geoff agreed tiredly.

'You should go home.' Jack suggested, moving over to Michael and patting his arm.

'No.' Geoff said shortly.

Jack rolled his eyes, standing up straight, having been unsuccessful in waking Michael, 'Coffee then?' Geoff eagerly agreed to coffee, on the proviso that it didn't come from the hospital. If Jack had been annoyed, he didn't show it and only assured Geoff that he would return within half an hour with coffee and breakfast... and so Geoff was "alone" again. Perhaps it was for the best, as five minutes after Jack left, the door opened again and a man that Geoff recognised from the night before came into the room, asking after Gavin's next of kin.

'That's me.' Geoff said nervously, coming to greet the man with a brief handshake. It was true; Gavin had put Geoff down as his next of kin a year or so previously, when he had come to live in Austin. Being in America, his actual family wouldn't be as readily available as Geoff was and thus Gavin and his family had come to the decision that it was the best course of action... of course they never could've imagined that they'd ever have to "use" it. The doctor directed Geoff to a chair and asked him to sit down... at that moment Geoff knew that whatever was coming next was not going to be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm calling artistic license with the next of kin thing, because honestly, I have no idea how that would work... okay. Cool.  
> -  
> I swear if I find the half of this chapter that I lost now that I've re-written it I'm gonna smack a bitch...  
> Also, sorry for the wait. Onto of missing words, I have had a busy few weeks at work, which kinda dampens the whole writing mood...  
> Anyway... yeah...  
> I am going away for a week on the 4th September... (telling you now because I may not update before then...)


	22. Human

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lol not a summary but fuck it
> 
> WARNING for language, specifically the "C" word. 
> 
> The AH guys use it a lot but it's never been one I've used because my parents hate it, though I keep wanting to use it and it doesn't disturb me like it did in the past.
> 
> Anyway, you've been warned. (:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what are chapter titles?!?!?!  
> __
> 
> I am not 100% better...  
> However I found myself able to write this chapter and though this story will remain on hiatus(for the time being), I thought I'd upload it.  
> You all deserve it so, please enjoy yourselves, and thank you all for the support.
> 
> Love you all C:

 

_Present day (7 th July), roughly eleven hours post re-appearance_

 

The doctor didn't speak for some time, apparently giving Geoff ample amounts of time to find a somewhat comfortable position in which to sit. Geoff wasn't sure what to expect, but there was a large part of his brain that was suggesting he expect truck loads of shit.

'I don't know if you remember me but I spoke to you briefly yesterday evening.' the doctor said, watching Geoff with keen eyes.

Geoff shook his head, 'I remember seeing you but...'

The tanned gentleman nodded in understanding, 'I'm Doctor Waldvogel... you're, Gavin's father..?' he was confused, unsure if Geoff had told him the previous day of their relationship.

'No, no I'm Mister Ramsey only...' Geoff offered, 'I'm... his boss; and friend... but, I, I'm acting as next of kin in place of his parents.'

'Are they--?'

'They live in England.' Geoff cut him off quickly, 'Gavin's British, but he's been living here...' he trailed off when he realised that the doctor had a small smile on his face, 'Is everything okay?'

'Gavin is resting well. He's not had any seizures thus far this morning, but it's still early...' Waldvogel took a breath and then as something dawned on Geoff he spoke again, 'Do you recall me now?'

Geoff nodded, 'Yeah...'

'Good, that makes this conversation slightly easier.' the doctor said.

As he swallowed a sudden lump in his throat, Geoff responded, 'That doesn't sound good.'

'Try not to worry,' Waldvogel said almost immediately, trying to calm the older man before him, 'there are still tests that need Gavin needs to undergo; but... he had an MRI scan last night... I've just finished looking over the results.'

'MRI...' Geoff repeated.

'Magnetic resonance imaging. It's a medical technique that uses strong magnetic fields and such like to generate images of the inside of the body. MRI for short,' Waldvogel explained, 'it's painless, and we used it to take a few pictures of Gavin's brain...' Geoff longed to make a joke about how empty the Brits head was but he refrained as the doctor continued to talk, '...-ermine a cause for the seizures he's experienced.'

Geoff was by no intents and purposes a doctor, but what he was hearing made sense. He didn't know however if he wanted any of the answers to the burning many questions he had.

Waldvogel repeated himself, 'I don't want you to worry,' he paused, watching Geoff, 'but the scans revealed a mass in Gavin's brain.'

At this point, Geoff was flummoxed at how he was supposed to “not worry” over his friend/son when faced with the sentence he'd just been force-fed, 'A mass..?' Geoff took a breath, eyes focusing sharply on the good doctor.

Waldvogel nodded, 'I'm afraid at this time I cannot tell you whether or not it's benign or malignant... as I said, there are more tests to be done.'

'Tests? Just take it out!' Geoff snapped, anger flaring up like flames, 'Screw the damn tests!' The doctors eyes dropped to the floor and Geoff's stomach went with it, 'T-take it out...' Geoff continued, 'just take it out.' Waldvogel looked up but Geoff spoke up again, 'If it's about the money-,'

'No, it's not about the money, Mister Ramsey,' he told him, 'the location of the mass makes it inoperable.'

Geoff shook his head, 'No.'

'If it is cancerous, then we can of course look into treating it with either radiotherapy or chemotherapy...' Waldvogel said softly.

'What if it's not? How will you treat it then?' Geoff asked, eyes pleading with the doctor to give him nothing but good news.

* * *

 

Jack didn't mind going out and getting coffee for Geoff; honestly he didn't. It gave him an excuse not to sit around in the hospital waiting room, pondering over all the things that had happened. He didn't mind, really; and to be honest it didn't take him long to run down to a nearby coffee chain and collect three coffee variants.

One each for himself, Geoff and Michael; who might've woken up by the time Jack returned with hot beverages and a collection of scrumptious bagels. After that, he made his way back to the hospital on foot; as he'd already parked up and did not wish to do so again.

Technically visiting hours weren't until later on in the day, but considering the circumstances, Jack wasn't too concerned with being thrown out. He knew fairly well where he had to go, how many left turns and right turns and straight-ons he had to deal with to get back to his friends and colleagues.

* * *

 

It was just coming up to 9am when Jack stepped through the door, prepared to greet Geoff. He stopped short when he was met with the grim sight of Michael sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. It was a sight Jack hadn't seen since the first few months after Gavin's disappearance, and the trailing thoughts of a cream cheese bagel were soon forgotten as Jack moved further into the room.

'Michael?' Jack called to him, 'Where's Geoff?'

Michael took an age to pull his head up and fix Jack with a stare. The look he had on his face made the nerves Jack had desperately been fighting down rear up again with an angry snarl.

Jack prompted him again, 'Michael?'

'He stepped out.' Michael said shortly.

Jack nodded, 'Okay...' a beat, 'what happened?' Michael just shook his head.

'What happened?' Jack repeated, 'Have you seen a doctor?'

'No, but Geoff... he spoke to some guy from yesterday.' Michael informed him, 'Some asian looking dude with glasses... Waldo or something.'

'Waldvogel?' Jack asked with a cocked eyebrow.

Michael nodded, 'Yeah...' he took a breath. Jack recognised the calming mechanism. His stomach has transformed into a turbulent storm; ocean waves breaking over the bow of a ship. Jack opened his mouth to speak again, but Michael got there first.

'It's not good news, man... he's, he's sick; really sick.' Michael said.

'It's not epilepsy is it..?' Jack sighed, suddenly wishing that it was.

Michael shook his head, 'No it's... it's a tumour.'

It was like being hit just a touch too hard by one of several work colleagues, and Jack stood in silence for a long while, allowing his brain time to take in the news. _Tumour_ wasn't a good word at all, but it made a sickening kind of sense.

'I don't get it...' Michael shook his head again in sheer disbelief, 'did he know?' Michael shot Jack a look, 'How did we _not_? He's been having all these fucking headaches; I just, I thought it was stress...' Michael didn't wish to mention what Gavin might have been so stressed about, and Jack didn't ask.

The older man looked away, guilt beginning to creep up on him, 'I didn't know... or, I mean... I didn't notice...'

Michael rose, stretching out his limbs, 'We've all been so fucking blind!' he walked over to Jack, 'How did _I_ not realise something was wrong? I told him to go and see a doctor... that British cunt just blew me off and I didn't think any more of it. I'm a fucking idiot!'

Jack put a hand on his friends shoulder, 'Don't beat yourself up over it... the important thing now is that we _know_ ; and that we do all we can to support him, and that he gets the medical help that he obviously needs...' he paused for a moment, '...this could blow up real fast...'

Michael immediately caught his drift, 'We should wait. Until we know more... I don't wanna get their hopes up...'

'They deserve to know.' Jack said with a slight frown.

'I'm sorry Jack but as much as we all love the fans, they're gonna have to wait this time. His family deserve to know before the masses.' Michael offered a half-hearted shrug.

Jack sighed heavily, then he nodded, 'Yeah, you're right... it's just, I want to shout it from the rooftops, y'know? That we've found him; that he's... safe...' it was a loose term, but not an entirely false claim. Michael shook Jack's hand from his shoulder and took the bagel bag that was tucked under his arm and the coffees held deftly in his hand. Michael turned away with the food and drink in his possession.

'Where _is_ Geoff?' Jack asked, repeating his earlier query; the concern for his other friend making itself known. He was so worried about so many things and it was exhausting. Jack had no idea how Michael had even made it three months let alone fourteen.

'He said he needed some air...' Michael replied, 'he'll be back later...' Michael walked over to a chair and sat down.

Jack rubbed a hand over his face tiredly, 'Christ I should called Ryan and Ray...' he dug into his pockets in search of his phone.

Michael only nodded as he pondered the coffee and bagels, realising that even though he was hungry, he could not stomach food or liquids. He was curious to know if Jack was really as cool, calm and collected as he appeared. Michael put the items down on a small square side table and sat back in the chair in a vain attempt to relax. He glanced up to see that Jack had since retrieved his phone and was fussing with it. Eventually he held it up to his ear and took a long breath before speaking to the person on the other end of the line.

'Hey, you need to come to the hospital as soon as you can... yeah, yeah, he's okay... I mean, just, you gotta come.' Jack nodded absently then hung up the phone before repeating the process with his next target. He winced, 'Yeah I know it's earlier than you'd like, I'm sorry... yes, a-and no... you should come to the hospital... yeah I called him already... yes... I think he said he'd call an **Uber**... you want me to call him back?' Jack threw Michael a look, '...you sure? Okay, we'll see you in a bit then...' Jack pulled the phone away from his ear and ended the call, putting the phone back in his pocket.

* * *

 

_Present day (7 th July), roughly twelve hours post re-appearance_

 

Geoff found himself outside, slumped on a bench with his head in his hands, the cooler morning Austin air curling around him as he tried to catch his breath. He'd run out of the “relatives room” within minutes of informing a drowsy Michael of what the doctor had told him, and made a hasty escape into the outside world... only, he'd taken the first exit he'd found, which had lead him into a dead ended courtyard.

He deemed it good enough. He'd felt like the hospital air and the walls had been slowly suffocating him. He'd been there all night, worried out of his mind and unable to get even a few moments of sleep.

He'd sat in that room, telling himself over and over that it was the least he could do for Gavin. He could sit and wait for twelve hours, no problem... it was peanuts compared to the fourteen months that Gavin had been missing; and yet somehow it had been so much worse. Waiting for any word from a doctor or nurse about the condition of your friend when all you really knew was that he was “alive”. Alive only got ones spirits so far; it only gave you so much hope. Come the morning, Geoff was sleep deprived and had nothing to show for it.

The courtyard was empty save for Geoff and he was thankful that there were no witnesses to his failing abilities at covering up his growing guilt. The courtyard _was_ indeed empty, but in his head Geoff could imagine Gavin sitting next to him on the wooden bench... Geoff was certain he wasn't insane.

Many people could hear and see things playing out in their heads, be it that dumb conversation they'd had at the coffee shop or the speech that they were rehearsing, picturing all the things that could go wrong so that they might be more prepared for it. Be it that one thing you really wish you could do, imagining the sights and sounds, the feelings you might feel...

For Geoff it wasn't buying a fancy car or a boatload of booze, it was simply Gavin. It wasn't really Gavin of course, it was the voice in the back of his mind that everybody has. Gavin wasn't really sitting next to him or standing before him or indeed doing anything anywhere near Geoff.

Geoff was using his imagination in the way an author might. Giving a character a voice as you write their dialogue, seeing them walking from the window to the wall as you describe it in detail on paper.

In truth, Geoff was calling himself out on many things. He felt guilty, felt he had to prove something to himself, to others. He had to prove that he _**did**_ believe in Gavin, that he cared. He saw the Gavin character smile at him. Disguising his own thoughts as Gavin's voice somehow made it all easier to deal with. Geoff might not be able to be straight with himself, but the fake Gavin certainly could.

As Geoff sat for some time, he continued to feel that he needed to apologise for past behaviour until the character in his mind spoke again and made him realise that he'd had every right to do and say and feel the things he had. He was only human after all.

 

“ _You don't need to prove anything to anyone Geoffrey.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought that perhaps I should try and explain how/why Geoff has been "seeing/hearing" Gavin.  
> It's kinda hard to explain, I tried to find a name for what I mean but Google wasn't too helpful.  
> I recall reading about it a year or so ago... I hope my explanations made some sense... but if you're still confused, Geoff isn't crazy and has not lost his mind or anything...  
> __
> 
> Points to those of you who guessed what was wrong with Gavin. It was kinda obvious I suppose, but the story is not over yet!
> 
> __
> 
> More points to anyone who gets the really hard to get reference. 
> 
> I'll give you a hint; "Waldvogel".  
> Also... who remembers "Sean" from Chapter 19? 
> 
> Another hint; both YouTubers...  
> "Sean" should be fairly obvious but "Waldvogel" is super obscure because it's not actually the YouTubers name, so... fun times amiright? :D


	23. Newt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote so much, so fast for the first time since the last chapter that I hurt my hand... ):
> 
> #worth_it
> 
> Short-ish chapter, but it's the most I've written since last year... so, progress, right?
> 
> Also;; Happy Birthday Gavin! *party*

_August, the year of the disappearance_

 

_It was warmer today than all the days that had been previously. The sun was high, it was around noon and there were people everywhere. He didn't like it, there was too much going on, he felt as though he was on a stage in front of a hundred thousand people who did nothing with their lives except judge him. What he wore (for warmth), what he ate (for sustenance), what he did (for safety).  Sean didn't judge; he was like him. Without family or friends, and with nowhere to go. He was smart and had taken Newt under his wing._

_Newt wasn't really his name. He didn't know what his name was, he didn't remember, but Sean had chosen that it was a fair enough name, particularly as it rhymed with "mute", which is what Sean first called him after noticing that he didn't say all that much. What was there to say? Normal people didn't pay him any notice and he had no friends, family or colleagues. So Newt it was, and Sean and didn't ask questions. Instead he taught Newt how to survive on the streets; where to go for food, shelter and (rarely) money. Even though it was almost pointless, Newt had taken much time and effort to be as invisible as possible. It wasn't overly difficult._

_Even before he met Sean, most people would avoid him, crossing the road, walking faster (or slower), turning away, avoiding eye contact, or indeed any contact. Most people weren't nice, they didn't want to help, or couldn't, so they would avoid him out of guilt... at least that's what Sean told him. Either way, the more invisible he was, the better he liked it._

_After a few months he'd found himself walking the same route almost every day, past a coffee shop filled with people, laughter loud and brutal. He didn't like it but felt drawn there, reasons that remained unknown. Sean suggested that perhaps he used to frequent it before he became who he was now. Newt didn't find that a plausible answer, considering he didn't like the noise and the amount of people there, but Sean was usually right so perhaps it was the truth... After the coffee shop, he'd take a longer walk along a fairly busy road and stop outside a large collection of buildings and parking lots. He didn't know what it was, whether it was factories or warehouses or something else entirely, but it was another location that he was drawn to. He could spend hours just sitting on the green bank on the opposite side of the road, watching people going about their normal lives. He was envious of them and the life that he didn't have. They were lucky._

* * *

 

_October, the year of the disappearance_

_Newt cursed his luck as he sat with his back against a brick wall, watching people going by with umbrellas up and coats fastened. The torrential rain was beating down on the roads and sidewalks, but Newt couldn't do anything against it, the shops wouldn't allow him to take refuge, he had no umbrella, and while plastic grocery bags could keep a slight drizzle from dampening your day, a storm would not be stopped by a sheet of plastic a few millimetres thick. So, he had done the next best thing, found a "comfortable" bit of sidewalk, taken pride of place there and drawn his knees up to his chest in a vain attempt at retaining warmth._

_It did him little good and some time later, whether it was minutes or hours he did not know, as his fingers started to feel rather numb and like perhaps he'd never had fingers, the rain suddenly stopped. Newt lifted his head a little and saw two pairs of feet. He looked up properly, eyes drifting from feet, to legs, to shoulders and then faces. A young couple were standing before him, the male was holding an umbrella over Newt's head, stopping the water from continuing to soak him. The woman dug around in her purse and knelt down to his level, offering him a few dollar bills. She was smiling kindly at him, and she could tell that he was hesitating._

_'It's okay...' she kept her hand outstretched until finally he took the bills from her. She nodded approvingly, 'What's your name?'_

_'Don't talk to him,' her friend scolded, 'we don't have time to take him to dinner.'_

_The woman shot her counterpart a look, 'I asked his name, not if he's got a tuxedo.' She stood up, folding her arms across her chest. She nudged her friend but he ignored her and followed her example, kneeling down in front of Newt._

_'I can't offer you much, but I can offer you this.' He shook the umbrella a little._

_Newt frowned at him, glancing up at the woman, who looked as confused and surprised as he felt._

_'What are you doing?' she asked, not sounding angry but curious._

_'We have a million umbrellas...' the man replied, watching Newt watching them, 'here, take it.'_

_Kindness was rare, so such an offer made Newt suspicious. He slowly took the handle with a firm grasp. The man let go but remained on his knees._

_'You need it more than we do, but as payment...' he started to rummage in a bag he was carrying and after a moment he pulled out a sheet of laminated paper and held it out to Newt, 'I want you to take this.'_

_The rain bounced off the surface of the paper and Newt took it slowly._

_'As payment,' the man started, 'please keep a look out for this man, he's a good friend of mine.' The woman moved closer to her friend, placing a hand on his shoulder. He didn't look away from Newt, 'I'm coming...' he tapped the paper, 'if you see him, will you tell someone? The police, another person... anyone...'_

_'Michael...' the woman said softly, pulling the man to his feet._

_Newt watched them. They looked so lost, he couldn't help but nod. They moved away with thanks, and Newt watched them until he could no longer see them through the curtains of rain. It was then that he turned his attention fully to the paper they'd given him. He felt a feeling deep in the pit of his stomach and felt both forlorn and comforted. A man was missing, but his friends were looking for him. Newt wished that perhaps one day who would have friends as good as Gavin Free's._

_As carefully as he could, Newt folded the laminated paper before slipping it into a pocket in his coat. He would watch for this Gavin, it was the least he could do._

..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poster is fake, (obviously). Not new either, was linked way back in chapter 10, but felt like putting it again. 
> 
> This chapter is a little bit of a filler for you while I work on the future installments of this story (which is still on hiatus as writing is very hard for me lately). BUT, I am working on it! Which is the main thing, and I love this story to death and I am so happy that it is so loved by so many other people who have done nothing but support me this whole time. I love you all very much! Thank you!! <3
> 
> \--
> 
> Newt is Gavin, which I wasn't going to mention, but you're all very smart so you've probably guessed already!


	24. Friends Love Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Story no longer on hiatus! But I am going to take time with writing so that I am happy with it and feel it's good enough for the readers. (:
> 
>  
> 
> \--
> 
> Mentions of booze and drink in regards to Geoff, will try to stop that now as he is sober but this chapter (and following chapters) have been in the works for months.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. I don't have a beta reader and tend to miss my mistakes even when editing.

Jack and Michael were sat on opposite sides of the room, each with a drink of some kind in hand as they waited in silence for Ryan and Ray to arrive. Jack hadn't given away anything over the phone as to what the problem was... he didn't think that they'd appreciate being told so callously. Instead Jack was reserving that news for a slightly more personal conversation. Neither of them had seen Geoff since he'd left Michael with the news, and though they might have been quietly concerned for the man, they knew that it was likely best just to let him have some time to himself to try and come to terms with what they now knew.

Jack was nursing an almost cold coffee when there was a knock on the door into the room and it opened slowly. Ryan appeared, Ray right behind him.

'Hey,' Jack greeted, sitting up and taking a deep breath, 'you okay?'

Ray smiled a little awkwardly as he shut the door behind them, 'I forgot my wallet. I had to call Ryan to pay the fare...' he cleared his throat, 'sorry.'

Ryan shook his head, 'Don't worry about it,' he looked from Jack to Michael, 'where's Geoff?'

Michael spoke up, standing from his chair and walking over to greet the others, 'He went out to get some air...' he exchanged a friendly pat on the arm with Ray.

Jack cleared his throat, 'Sit down.' he looked between Ray and Ryan, gesturing to the row of chairs that were just in front of him.

'I don't like it when people say that Jack.' Ray muttered, moving over to sit opposite him. Ryan didn't move, opting to stay standing, glancing at Michael, who avoided his gaze, finding interest in his paper cup.

'Have you seen him?' Ryan asked.

Jack shook his head, 'No, we've only got information that Geoff gave us...'

'Which is what?' Ryan continued, 'What's going on?'

'And cut the crap and skip to the end of this conversation.' Ray added with a frown. Jack raised an eyebrow in surprise and then sighed, looked down at the floor and started to talk.

'Gavin is sick,' he started, looking up slowly, taking in the expression on Ray's face, 'and it's not something as simple as pneumonia.'

'Since when is pneumonia simple?' Ryan questioned, relenting and coming to sit next to Ray.

'When compared to a brain tumour...' Jack muttered. The silence was deafening, and Ryan and Ray sat, stunned. Jack took a breath, gathering strength to continue talking, 'Gavin has a brain tumour... we don't know if it's benign or if it's... cancer... but that's the current situation.' He fell quiet as the two men in front of him took in the information and tried to process it. Jack knew that it would be hard.

Trying to come to terms with everything that had happened in the last year had been hard. Gavin going missing, the support from the fans, from strangers... the unknown, the anger and fear that was felt. The body that was found in the lake, media outlets reporting that it could've been their friend.

The overwhelming joy that Jack had felt when Ryan had told him that they'd found him, that he was alive. The shock, the fear that reared up again as the new cards they were dealt were turned over and shown.

Gavin was alive, but for how long?

Jack didn't really believe in fate, or destiny or cosmic karma, but it was hard to try and ignore how much the universe seemed to hate you. It was one thing after another. Two steps forwards and one and a half steps back. He had thought that the fight was over, the battle won, but in reality the battle was just beginning. Their energy was depleted, they had nothing left to give but they were going to have to give everything they could muster to this fight. Gavin would need them, he'd need the fans too.

Jack stood up without a word, a deep-seated drive rumbling in his gut. He needed to write a statement, for the fans. Give them the good news, and then the bad too. He took a step towards the door, but then it opened, and the Doctor that they'd not seen before came into the light. The four men in the room looked around to face him and he froze.

'Uh,' he cleared his throat, 'I'm Doctor Vinterdalen, I'm looking for a Mister Ramsey?'

'He's not here,' Jack said, coming to the front of the group and looking the young doctor over, 'can I help?'

Vinterdalen narrowed his eyes at Jack, 'No, I was instructed to get Mister Free's next of kin.'

'Geoff isn't here and his parents are on an airplane. Gavin is our friend... anything you need to say, you can say to us.' Jack said.

'I'm sorry,' the doctor began, 'but I was instructed to bring Mister Free's next of kin, not his friends.'

'Is he awake?' Michael asked, 'Please, I have to see him.'

'When Mister Ramsey returns, please tell him to go to the nurses station and ask for me.' Vinterdalen said, turning away from them. Michael was fast, desperate to keep trying until he was successful. He grasped the mans sleeve, holding tightly, forcing him to pause.

'Please... I need to see him...' Michael took a shaky breath, 'he's my-...' he cut himself off, aware of the presence of the others behind him. Now wasn't the time for this kind of an admission.

To his surprise, Jack continued his train of thought for him, 'They're together; can't you let him see his boyfriend?'

Michael spun around and eyed Jack in horror, 'How--?'

'We're your friends Michael, did you really think we hadn't noticed? That we didn't at least suspect?' Jack was smiling softly. Michael swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at Ryan and Ray, both of them offered similar supportive expressions. At a loss for words, all Michael could do was turn back and face the doctor almost sheepishly.

It felt like they were stood in limbo for hours before the man nodded, 'Alright, but just the partner.' he shot them all a look.

Jack quickly lifted his hands in a show of surrender, 'We'll stay here.' it was a promise and Jack intended to keep it, 'Michael?'

Michael couldn't bring himself to look at him again, '...yeah?'

'You tell him we love him, okay?'

Michael smiled to himself and gave a sharp nod, 'I will.' With that, the doctor lead him from the room, and the door clicked shut. It was quiet for a moment.

'I think you embarrassed him.' Ryan muttered, coming to stand next to the bearded man.

Jack shrugged, 'I'll apologise later, but it got him in right?'

Ryan chuckled, 'Sure did.'

'Wait...' Ray said, standing and coming over to face the two older men, 'do you mean... are they...?'

'Sleeping with each other?' Jack finished.

Ray nodded, 'Yeah.'

'No idea.' Jack answered.

'...but you just said-...' Ray didn't get to finish as Jack cut him off with dismissive wave of a hand.

'How about we worry about finding Geoff rather than Michael and Gavin's...' Jack trailed off, unable to say the words.

'I second that idea.' Ryan nodded, patting Jack on the shoulder as he came to his rescue, 'God knows what that man is drinking right now.'

'You both knew didn't you?' Ray accused, 'Why didn't you tell me?'

'It was never for us to tell. Gavin and Michael... that's private, between the two of them. They would have told us when they were ready I'm sure... but things happened and...' Jack trailed off for a moment, 'let's just... support our friends. All of them.' he ran his hands over his face, 'I'm going to look for Geoff... I can get some air at the same time.'

'I'll come with you.' Ryan said, 'Ray?'

Ray held up a hand and shook his head, 'I'm gonna stay here if you don't mind.' He moved back to a chair and sat down, 'Y'know... for when Michael comes back.'

'Okay,' Jack assured gently, 'we'll see about bringing some food back with us.' Him and Ryan both left the room, the door shutting softly after them.

Ray took off his glasses and held them in his hand, humming the theme tune for "X-Ray & Vav".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am taking this story off it's hiatus, but I will keep to slow updates so that I am not going mad trying to write, write, write and getting stressed. 
> 
> Thank you all for your patience and support! I love you all!


	25. Reconciliation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Advanced apology for the dialog in this chapter because most of this chapter is dialog... Sorry, but stuff needed saying and I kinda went with it so... yep.
> 
> Characters may seem a little OOC, but I tried to keep it on the down low. One mention of Millie but only a mention, I am trying to keep her out of this story as per the wishes of Geoff.
> 
> Mentions of booze and drink in regards to Geoff, will try to stop that now as he is sober but this chapter (and following chapters) have been in the works for months. 
> 
> All mistakes are my own. I don't have a beta reader and tend to miss my mistakes even when editing.

_Present Day, 7th July, roughly 12 and a half hours post re-appearance_

 

Geoff stared down at the two pairs of shoes that had entered his vision. Both sneakers, but of different brands. He slowly looked up to face his friends. It dawned on him just how tired they both looked, with dark circles under their eyes and a pale face to match. Geoff imagined he looked much the same.

'Hi.' Jack greeted, coming to sit down next to him on the bench.

Geoff swallowed the lump in his throat, 'Hi.'

Ryan remained standing, 'We were wondering where you had got to.'

'Sorry,' Geoff began, 'I felt like I was suffocating in there...' a pause, 'Gavin--,'

'It's fine,' Jack cut in, 'Michael told us everything.'

Geoff looked down, 'Is he okay?'

'Are you?' Jack replied, looking across to his left, where Geoff sat, hunched; hands on his knees, grip tightening and relaxing periodically.

'I'm fine.' Geoff said with a nod, though his voice wavered ever so slightly, 'I just needed some air.'

'Yeah us too,' Ryan started, 'if fine means _"shittin' yourself silly over everything that's happened"_.' Geoff was silent and he did not look up at them.

'Have you spoken to Griffon?' Jack asked.

'No.' was Geoff's immediate reply.

' _Geoff._..' Jack's voice was both sympathetic and scolding at the same time, 'she deserves to know; they both do.'

'I can't...' Geoff shook his head. Jack shot Ryan a look, who then began to rifle through his large assortment of pockets.

'You're going to need her.' Jack said, placing a hand on his friends shoulder.

Ryan pulled out his cell phone, 'Either you call her, or I will.' He brandished his phone towards Geoff as if it was a weapon. Geoff's head snapped up and their eyes met. Ryan continued, 'You know she'd rather hear it from you; if I tell her she'll just hate you more.'

Geoff eyed Ryan for an age, counting out the pros and cons until he reached an answer.

'C'mon man,' Jack urged, 'don't you think a year is enough?'

'She loves you,' Ryan added, 'they both do. Call her.' Whether Geoff had chosen because he knew they were right, or because Ryan would absolutely call her himself, they didn't know, but as Geoff took Ryan's phone from him, it didn't matter.

'We're gonna take a walk,' Jack said as he stood up, 'we'll meet you back inside later.' He beckoned Ryan, who gave Geoff a pat on the shoulder before following after Jack. The two of them made for the door that lead from the courtyard back into the hospital.

Geoff held Ryan's phone in both hands, watching his two friends walking away, side by side. He took several breaths, trying to calm himself. His hands shook and his mouth felt dry. Geoff hadn't spoken to Griffon in nearly a year; falling out of touch with both family and friends after Gavin upped and disappeared. This was all Gavin's fault. The drinking, the fighting... his idea to go it alone because he didn't wan't to hurt anyone; drive anyone else away like he had done with Gavin. It was all Gavin's fault... no,  _Geoff's_ fault; for making him work so much, for the teasing and banter.

Gavin sighed, sitting down on the bench net to him, 'It's not your fault Geoff; it's _just_ _life_.'

'You didn't deserve any of it. You don't deserve this...' Geoff muttered, his fist tightening around the phone.

Gavin laughed, 'Nobody ever does; _that's_ life too.' he stood up, turned to face Geoff, a cheeky smile on his face, 'Call her. It's the right thing to do.'

'Is it?' Geoff asked distractedly.

'You know it is,' Gavin replied, 'I'm you, remember?'

Geoff's lips pulled up into a small smile, 'Yeah...' he dialled Griffon's number and put the phone to his ear. It rang and rang... nerves chomped at the bit and Geoff felt sick; he should hang up.

'Don't hang up.' Gavin said with a roll of his eyes, 'Patience is a virtue.'

Before Geoff could retort to the "Gavin" part of his conscience, a voice came through the receiver, greeting Ryan casually. Geoff couldn't speak; the words caught in his throat. What could he say? "Hi honey I'm home" couldn't possibly come close. There was nothing; nothing that could ever make up for his behaviour.

'I'm sorry.' the words came without forethought, falling like a soft summer rain.

'Geoff?'

Even without seeing her, he could tell that she was shocked, curious even... but he could feel no sense of anger, no malice towards him, 'I'm sorry.' he repeated. There was nothing else, only regret. He'd made a terrible mistake and he wouldn't blame her if she hung up or refused to listen or take him back.

'Why are you calling from Ryan's phone?'

'I'm so sorry.'

'Where are you?' In the background Geoff could hear her making noise, the rustle of paper and plastic.. then the clinking of something on ceramic, 'What's happening? Where are you?' Geoff shook his head, tears rolling down his face as he was overwhelmed by emotions. Griffon kept talking, 'I'm coming to get you, tell me where you are.' As she fell quiet, Geoff could hear more sounds in the background; only this time it was a voice. Millie's voice.

'I'm so sorry, I've been so stupid... oh god...' he trailed off.

'Geoff,' Griffon's voice softened, ' _please_...' she sounded different, as if she was trying to coax Geoff and at that moment, he realised just how this must appear to her. One last phone call; a note. An emotional farewell. Geoff's heart seized as though someone had hold of it, and he stumbled over his words as he spoke again.

'I'm fine!' he suddenly proclaimed loudly, 'I'm okay!'

She was silent for a moment, 'Fuckin' hell Geoff, you scared me!'

'I'm sorry--,'

'Stop saying that,' she cut in, 'what's going on?'

Geoff swallowed dryly, 'We found Gavin.' There was a prolonged silence and Geoff wondered if the connection had been lost, 'H-hello?'

'Is he okay?' she asked, sounding calmer than Geoff had felt in months.

'He's alive.' he assured her.

'Where is he?' a beat, 'Where are you?'

'Griffon,' he began, 'I need to see you.' She was silent, neither agreeing or disagreeing, ' _Please_...' he added, desperate. Jack and Ryan were right. He was going to need her, now more than ever, but he'd abandoned them, turned to the bottle for comfort instead. She had every reason to say no; to tell him where to stick his apologies and regrets.

After an agonising wait, she finally replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again; Geoff is NOT going insane. 
> 
> I still don't really know how to explain what is happening with him, so I thought maybe "conscience" would be a good term for it. 
> 
> Geoff is in two minds;
> 
> one where he's telling himself he's at fault for what happened,  
> and another that's telling him he's not. 
> 
> So Geoff is both blaming and not blaming himself. He is using Gavin, in his mind, to try and make himself feel better I suppose. Again I am finding it hard to try and explain... but yeah, Geoff isn't mad, he's not actually seeing Gavin in the world, although how I write it it might sound like that. He's just talking to himself and only "seeing" Gavin in his own head... again, in the same way that I see a scene in my head and the characters talking and moving.
> 
> I think that's as best as I can explain it... if you're still confused, I am very sorry... TnT


	26. Gavin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *long inhale of breath through nose* ahhh who doesn't love angst in the morning?  
> You've been warned (:
> 
> Any and all mistakes are my own.

The walk to Gavin's room was fraught with anxiety and a stiff upper lip. Michael had to see him, he needed to but for some reason his stomach was churning and he felt sick. Sure it'd had been a while since they'd seen each other but it was only Gavin. It was his boi, and Michael had been waiting for this day for over a year and now it was to tantalisingly close that he could feel it in his belly. He felt weak, dizzy; so much so that he came to a stop in the corridor, a hand on the wall steadying him. The doctor turned to him, medical training kicking in at the signs of "distress" Michael was apparently giving off. Michael didn't let him get too close, standing straight and making a move to follow the doctor, who jumped back into action, hurrying ahead of the younger man.

It felt as though they walked miles, circling the ward, lapping the waiting room and the nurses station and the door that they were stood in front of. Michael stared intently at the plaque that was screwed to the wood. It bore several numbers, none of which Michael managed to take in. After a moment he realised that the doctor was talking, but all he could do was reach for the handle. His hand gripped it tightly and then, nothing. Michael froze. He swallowed. _'It's just Gavin.'_ He told himself, taking a breath. He worked the handle and slowly opened the door. It swung inwards without a sound and Michael steeled himself.

There was a window at the end of the short entranceway. A door to the right, presumably to a small en-suite. Michael stepped into the room, shutting the door behind him as quietly as he could. He crept ever so cautiously forwards. The room opened up to the right and Michael turned the corner into the main area.

There, on a hilariously large bed, was a small figure that looked nothing like the man Michael remembered. Long hair cascading over small shoulders and a scraggly beard that reached to at least his sternum. Gavin looked awful and Michael could only stand in silence, at a loss for words. He appeared to be sleeping, head turned ever so slightly to the left, as if he was trying to avoid the light from the window. Michael noted that there wasn't much light at all, with the blinds pulled across and nearly completely shut. The room wasn't dark in any sense, but it was light enough to allow Michael a view at his friend and he took a few steps forward.

Gavin looked as though he was buried under several blankets, the sides hanging over the edge of the bed. There was a drip held aloft on a pole over the bed and a line that trailed from the bags and vanished underneath the blankets. Michael didn't know if it was fluids to treat dehydration, or something else entirely but he knew it couldn't be a good sign. He tentatively shuffled forwards, quiet, almost holding his breath as he got nearer to the bedside. He stopped a foot away, hands curling and uncurling into fists, nerves crashing down upon him and he struggled to formulate words, or even semi-coherent thoughts.

It was Gavin, and Michael stared silently at his face, taking it all in as though he might vanish into thin air a second time. Thinner, paler and hairier but still Gavin. Michael belched out a soft laugh, he shook his head.

He stepped up to the bed and reached his hands out, pausing for a second before placing them on the bed with a sigh, '...god...' he took a slow, deep breath, '...it's good to see you.' Michael stepped back feeling for a hand hold, a support before he hit the floor. There was a standard hospital chair behind him and he fell into it, overwhelmed. He rested his head against the back of the chair, eyes closing, fighting the emotions that threatened to fall. He hurried to wipe his eyes, brushing underneath them and across his cheeks; sniffing and clearing his throat.

'Are you crying?'

The voice made him jump, head snapping up, eyes wide in shock. Gavin blinked wearily at him and Michael cracked a smile. Typical Gavin.

'No.' Michael denied with a soft shake of his head, leaning forwards. 

'Are you sure?' Gavin queried, 'Why are you sad?'

Michael's brows furrowed, 'You're seriously asking me that? After... after _everything_?'

'I... I'm sorry..? I think you must have the wrong room...' Gavin replied, yawning.

The smile fell, Michael cocked his head, 'What..?'

Gavin looked confused, face creasing up as he frowned at Michael, 'Who are you?'

Elation deflated like a burst ballon, 'What do you..? It's me, it's Michael... _your_ boi...'

Suddenly the mood in the room turned from confused to confrontational and Gavin was shouting, struggling underneath the covers to sit, lashing out, reaching for Michael who quickly stood and moved away, stuttering over his words as he tried to calm the man before him. Gavin rose from the bed, untangled from the blankets and the wires and tubes. He took a couple of unsteady steps and then lost his balance, tumbling forwards.

Instinctively Michael reached out for him. Gavin continued to fight in his arms and Michael felt sick at just how frail the Briton felt in his stronger grip; like he was made of china and better kept in a cupboard out of the way. It was easy to hold him, but he continued to struggle even when a swarm of medical professionals appeared around them. The seconds passed in a blur and as suddenly as it had begun, it stopped. Gavin became limp, head lolling forwards onto his chest.

Michael was panting, his entire body shaking. A cold hand on his arm released his grip; Gavin was supported back to the bed, covered and set neatly back in place, pristine like nothing had happened. 

'What did you do?' his voice cracked, 'What was that? What--?' with little effort he was lead outside into the corridor, directed into a chair and handed a plastic cup full of water. He looked at it as though he'd never seen a cup of water before. Someone sat down in a chair in front of him and brandished a box of tissues at him.

'Tissue?' they offered, their voice was soft and lilting; a British accent. It made Michael's heart ache even more than it already did.

He looked between the box and the person holding it, 'W-what?'

'You're crying.' they told him quietly.

Michael wouldn't deny it this time. Finding Gavin was supposed to be a happy joyful event, sharing the news with all who would listen and with those who would not. His cup of water tipped in his grip, falling to the floor, 'He... he didn't know me...'

'I'm sorry...' the person said.

'What's wrong with him?' Michael looked intently at them, it was a young woman, brown hair, green eyes and all he could think was how much she reminded him of Gavin, 'What happened?' Before she could answer, Vinterdalen came out of Gavin's room.

'Perhaps we should talk someone a little more private?' he suggested.

'Just spit it out doc...' Michael grouched, though he sounded tired rather than angry. He put his face in his hands and Vinterdalen made arrangements, releasing the woman and sitting down in her place, taking the tissues with him as he sat back in the chair.

'Gavin has a mass in his brain--,'

'I know, Geoff told me.' Michael muttered, looking back up. 

'Okay... well, the position of this mass could well explain why Gavin went missing.'

'What does that mean? Stop beating around the fucking bush!' Michael snapped. Vinterdalen shifted awkwardly on the chair.

'It's possible that it's pressing on certain parts of the brain that effect memory, or behaviour. It's not unheard of in cases like this, a tumour causes a normally fun, upbeat person to become paranoid and cruel...' he paused, '…but like Waldvogel already said... we have more tests to run, we've got no other solid explanations for what Gavin is going through... we're all going to have to be patient.'

Michael tensed, 'I've been patient... for _fourteen_ months I have been patient... I can't,' he swallowed, 'be patient anymore... I can't...'

'I'm sorry but you're going to have to be,' Vinterdalen stood up, offered Michael the tissue box, 'now more than ever. Gavin is going to need you.'

Michael took the box, ' _I_ need Gavin, and... he,' he gestured vaguely towards the room where Gavin was, 'looks like him, sounds like him... but he's not him... he's a completely different person now, and that person doesn't need me.' he stood up, placed the tissue box on the chair and without another word he walked away, disappearing down the corridor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun with this chapter. (:  
> _  
> Thank you for your continued support. I love you all.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Game Night](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7939702) by [TripleTea](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TripleTea/pseuds/TripleTea)




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